I asked my friend over lunch if he was happy with his life. He answered, "Your kosten is a good kosten , but your kosten hurt me!!" (Well , fans of paapi ji will know 😅).
In fact after this kosten(question , duh!), he withdrew into a gloomy shell and all efforts of cheering him went in vain. After some time he cross questioned me if I was happy. My answer to that question is always at the tip of my tongue. NO ! A big NO, a NO as good as the one from the 'Pink' movie!
I am not happy. Not the way I want at least. Yes I am breathing, although majority of the time my lungs are faltering but yes I am alive, but it's as good as saying that I am not DEAD.
I can't complain about my life much. I have a 11 to 8 job, I earn my bread, biriyani whatever, I live in a humble abode,I care as well as I am cared for, and I have enough money to spend on entertainment and clothes. But, there is something missing, something that makes all this worthless. At the beginning I couldn't pin point it, but now I think I have.
The breathe or let me say like this, 'a little puff of air' that's circulating inside my lungs and making my body 'alive' is as good as the ON switch of a hair dryer , that just does its job and nothing extra. I wake up, mechanically go to office, do the same things over and over again there, stuff myself with food that I deem makes me happy(no it doesn't actually, just makes me fat!), wait for end of day, return back home , dive into the internet and then sleep. And the cycle repeats. Initially I used to wait eagerly for weekends, but now I have realised they are equally uninspired.
I wonder if I was secretly replaced one night by a Synthetic who looked like me, if people would actually notice that I wasn't there. She would do all the things I do, and in the process save money on food and certainly be better at my job! Bonus: My emotions wouldn't be all over the place anymore!
Most of us are already acting like synths , aren't we? The age between 25 to 30 is not so good if you ask me. By 24 if you don't have any real friends , you rarely will have new ones after that that actually care.We are held responsible for our actions. We have parents who start showing the signs of aging and are ailing. We are stuck for that promotion at work. We don't have time to goof around with our love life. We are too old for parties but we are too young for round table discussions with the elders for serious affairs. We keep postponing the things we want to and always wanted to do, because we are mentally tired or lazy or we simply think we have time. And there lies the trouble. A month back I heard one of my college friend's died of a cardiac arrest. At 28. Gone. Just like that. Today I heard my friend's cousin died of liver failure.At 30. Poof.
“By the sweat of your face You will eat bread Until you return to the ground, For from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return.”
-- Bible Genesis 3.19
If you think you have time , you may be in for a surprise. Think again. Why not do something everyday to make yourself happy?Just little things , daily. Things that will make you smile. If you smile, the people around you will too. It rubs off like that. Do the things you always wanted to do even if you fail. Why do you keep things stored for special occasions that never might arrive? Empty your storage closet for good.Join that dance class, travel to that place, dye your hair, raft, dive, party hard,pull your friends legs,take piano lessons, buy that florescent shirt even if they'll laugh,gift yourself something when you achieve, just do it!
Am I just lecturing or do I follow these myself? Sure, I do,Daily I try to make myself happy.I have chores pending for the weekends, I sing, I sometimes draw, sometimes I go to watch a movie. I go on yearly trips and try to make the most of it. We all deserve some loving, but it has to come from us before anyone else. Show that you are better than your imaginary futuristic Synths. Show them the middle finger and smile, will ya?
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