Living with Herpes & Philosophy

When I found out, I had herpes. I experienced a lot of overlapping emotions all at once, as I'm sure many people can relate. There were so many emotions and so many levels to the things that I felt that it was hard even to categorise what it was. It was just a lot, but there's one feeling in particular that stuck out, and that was confusing, and I'm talking about a specific type of confusion.

My Ex Infected Me With Herpes:

I knew how I got it. I was in a long-term relationship with a woman who had it, and she Disclosed Herpes to me long before we ever did anything that we liked each other that we had a great thing going on, and she was ridiculous.

So I was all about it. I knew the risk, I was calm, and about a year into the relationship, I contracted it. That makes sense, so no confusion there. The confusion was coming from my worldview. This unique relationship had represented a turning point for me at the time; I was getting more perspective as a young man, I was becoming more purposeful in life generally, and my dating life was following suit. I was trying to be more considerate to the people around me and communicate better things that I hadn't historically always done well. A few months into that, I met somebody great who went with the flow, and what do you know, I was in a relationship, and I went hard. I wanted to give it my best, and I was kind.

I assumed that giving my best would lead to an outcome that I liked. Herpes wasn't necessarily a conclusion that I wanted, hence the confusion. It is good to give your best to the close people in your life, especially in romance. On the other hand, it is rarely suitable to assume those good intentions or good deeds will be rewarded by the universe or the deity of your choice, but that's kind of how I felt at the time, logically and Intellectually. I'm not a very fatalistic person. I don't believe that the events of our lives have been predetermined to serve a greater purpose or a larger narrative and not to help our self-development. That feels a little near-sighted to me, but I think the universe or the deity we're choosing has set up reality such that there are an infinite number of variables that can influence our lives in an endless number of ways.

Depend On Your Thoughts:

There's a range of ways that could affect what I'm saying depending on our context, so a positive outcome under these circumstances, adverse under these circumstances, more neutral, so that was my logic. Still, when it came to something happening in my life, that wasn't enough. All of a sudden, I wanted a reason why I got this. What is it for? Why did I have to have this experience? I couldn't accept that I dated somebody with it and got it that made too much sense. I needed it to be complicated despite whatever I knew to be the case. I felt that the universe was punishing me. I was raised in a very religious household. One of those religions is very big on punishment and guilt and shame and all of that implicitly, at times explicitly. Other times I was taught to see the world in my life in a very fatalistic way, like somebody was observing me under a microscope at all times and ordering excellent or bad things to happen in my life based on my reaction. When you're told that as a child, you're learning what letters and numbers are, it can stick pretty decent.

It can stick to the point of me in adulthood getting an sti which is statistically pretty mundane and regular when you think about it and turn that Into an existential crisis take it from somebody who overthinks hyperactively by default it's not a lot of glory and pondering your life you're really better off just living it i knew i had a fair amount of trauma and pain from my religious experience so i assumed in theory that there would be some subconscious baggage to deal with there but unfortunately you can't really explore the subconscious with the conscious you really have to live Your life and observe your patterns it was until i was in a therapy session some time ago and randomly brought up my status and how i had felt initially when i found out that i even made that connection to my subconscious baggage regular conversation is something just clicked and i saw the fatalism and i found a lot more of it there than i ever would have imagined i wouldn't go as far as to say this changed my life but it benefited me almost immediately i had more peace of mind just in general knowing that some of these dark thoughts .

What I was having at the time wasn't necessarily put there by me, so in this indirect and unpredictable way, my status made me deal with some old stuff that needed to be dealt with. As I said, I'm not fatalistic on a logical level. I don't see my status as a metaphysical punishment for anything. I also don't see it as something that was sent as a means for me to grow as a person. I don't know what's going on with the wall back there. Every time I move, it's moving when I am not doing it, and I look crazy. Still, I think that this random variable of my status allowed for a randomly positive outcome of spiritual discovery, given my specific life circumstances.

Find Love on Herpes Dating Sites:

I See that my own decisions played a significant role in that positive outcome i put myself in therapy for some other things i had going on at the time and that was huge for me i was Anti-therapy for a while and i'm not necessarily the most emotionally vulnerable person in the world naturally but i'm working it out i sought out help i embraced my emotions i talked about them to another grown man not necessarily my idea of a good time but a good decision that led to a good outcome whereas before i had assumed a good product and didn't get one this time i wasn't accepting anything and randomly a good thing happened and such is the game I definitely wouldn't say my status has made my life worse that's a little unsophisticated. in my opinion i'm not gonna say it made my life better uh i'm not gonna say that it happened we good we move your status may present some challenges to you and that's real for sure i respect that but we all get challenges and most of them are unfair and most of them have solutions whether you've had positive or negative experiences with your status up to this point you really don't know how it's ultimately going to affect your life because you're alive which means you have more energy to live and you gotta admit life do go on it really be continuing there's more unknown variables and outcomes in every person that you meet every thought that you think and every singular decision that you make no matter how mundane it's perfectly understandable and okay. Now there are dating sites for herpes singles to meet online and get support for the rest of life. There it's infinite unknown positive outcomes available to you as well, and you're only going to find them by living your life, so you might as well do that, keep your mind open and see what happens.