Love, He’s Done

If today, Love would say, “Come back to me, I need your love”, would your recovering heart leave everything behind and take Love’s hand? Would you let Love lead you into the uncertainty where she had left you at in the first place? Would you let your past Love meddle with your heart that has finally moved on and started to fall in love with another, or would you be strong and tell love, “Fuck off, you’ve had your chance and you screwed it up!”?

Love had shown you how sweet life can be, and yet Love didn’t have a single minute in the morning, or in the evening, or whatever time in the day for you to tell you “Hello, today, I love you even more.” Instead, every single time you ask Love through numerous texts how she is doing, it takes her days, even weeks to respond with, “I have been busy with work these past couple of weeks without days off.” And yet, beyond all hope, you held on. You clung to the idea that Love was just busy and you had to be the understanding partner. So you gave her time, you waited for her texts, and believed that she was telling the truth when Love told you that someone has been hacking into her Facebook account. Even when you talked to the guy who was claiming to be her boyfriend, you still believed Love when she said, “That guy is delusional. You’re the only one for me.” And even when Love made different accounts, and things got too suspicious, you gripped the delusion close to your heart and kept telling yourself, “She still loves me, she just needs time.”

It was not my intention to fall in love with you. I never knew that a simple hello would lead to my demise. Every single minute of every single day passed and we were getting closer and closer. You cracked open my jaded heart after you broke down every single wall I have built around myself. Walls that were made because of what Love had done to me too. His was a love that left me with a closet brimming with trust issues and bones of my wasted years. Simply, I was broken. But like a shattered Japanese bowl, you took my pieces and glued them back together with your golden kindness, love and faith. You gave me back my life when all I could fill my head with are these crazy demons raging inside, telling me life was not worth it anymore. You taught me to fight.

But the battle between Love and I is a tough one. You tell me, “Love for her has left me a long time ago. I have moved on.” But I tell you that there was no closure. And that I react the way that I do when we talk about her because Love had you. But you tell me, “Love had me. Had. And who’s having me now?”

You give me your 100% and I do the same for you, yet whenever my trust wavers and I inadvertently take a misstep, you always think that I don’t deserve your trust. And over and over, you still choose to stay after everything. We fight hard but we also love hard.

And so, after all that has happened between you and Love, I will hold onto the promise that my love will be enough. That for you, I am enough. And when the time comes that Love would decide that she wants you back and tells you, “I’m still in love with you,” I trust that you'll do the right thing and tell Love, “She has my heart and she is deeply connected to my soul, but Love, thank you for stopping by.”