Whether teenagers go through the phase of depression or not, whether it is a step everyone takes or not, I don't think I can say I'm not, in fact, I always have been.
I'm content with my life and I have no outstanding issues. All I have to deal with is the drama I project through my own words, thoughts and actions, in other words I have nothing to actually depress me. But the things I have and the things I love are two separate collections.
I grew hung up on some girl I had never met on the internet because she fit the person I'd want to be with, the feeling was never mutual but you could pity me at least. I feel capable of much more but I'm never in the mood to offer nor to take. I'm simply waiting for something dazzling enough to inspire me but I don't think I really want to. To top it all, I'm growing less desirable by the moment. While I may have started as a cool and fairly popular teenager, I slowly morphed into this anti-social self-centered young adult. I'm slowly watching myself, so much potential going to waste. I have done many great things really, but I never took any pride in my accomplishments though not out of modesty.
I spent my entire time thinking and reflecting, till I reached a certain point where my ideas just collapse, I now sit by the computer late at night just gazing at the screen wondering what's left of my miserable life to say, I've already written everything. The words will always be here in case I needed a reminder of how these people made me feel, but I can only blame myself. I've been depressed ever since I was a kid, I've seen all the fun in the world...
It seems only yesterday I was dreaming of the day I start my own family, teach my own son how to do things properly and watch sports together. But I can't give anything anymore...
I am as depressed as it gets, not because sad things happened to me at all. I think that's the worst kind of depression, now it only takes one or two tragedies to bring me down to my knees. But perhaps I'll enjoy seeing my downfall...