Much like the title gives away, it is about something going the other way around, reversed, as in beginning from where it should end. That title has been orbiting my life since before I realized, what would you do if you were me? Would you hold on dearly for the beginning or would you so surrender to a very expected end?
I was once a calm boy. Most kids my age had been living their childhoods like they're supposed to be, and although I had no idea of what it is to be responsible or to be an adult, by all means I was one. I was so focused in everything I did and composed, I used my head to the right limits and I remember how each time I would hide the truth. I did not lie, I did not do bad things but I did hide the truth if it meant covering up for someone, or if simply I'd assumed wrong which was not really the case every single time.
If you ask me now on how the transition from that to this had occurred I would coat it as a "coma". I have no evidence, I do not even know what happened to me. I just remember waking up one day and feeling happy.
It was not the sort of happiness I saw in others around my age at the time, it was that I've seen in others when I was but a kid. My desires went on par with my age, but my behavior, my emotions, my composure and responsibility, those were all a little kid's tantrum all over the place. I was living childhood at the height of a fridge (minus the top quarter).
Even now, looking back at how twisted this little story of mine is, I would settle for it and put an end here, but the fact is, I was bound to be affected by all this. It was inevitable, this curse or whatever it is lingered on and engulfed my whole life.
I do not recall ever making a bad first impression, neither a last good one. My character does not change throughout my adventures, but there's a lacking balance. That is what they see, people see that I do not have a certain core. It went on long enough for me to realize that I've put everyone into babysitting me, because as the days go by, my body ages forward and my soul backwards.
Is it my gift to live life to the fullest with a trembling hand holding on to a walking cane? Or is it my ordeal to never have felt life back when my heart was young enough?