There’s bound to be a significant number of things that haunt you, haunted you or will haunt you. There is a certain sovereign in the dark making sure we each get what we throw back at us. Those who throw hard enough are the ones said to suffer most, I am one of those, but never have I thought it this overwhelming…
I still have no clue what to call that night, is it a cursed one or was it a blessing? I’ve lost faith in my good judgment ever since that night. I once stared at the ceiling for an entire night as a kid, I was still a brat by then but my most dominating thought at that night was the thought of satisfaction. Since I couldn’t see it in adults around me but I could yet again so easily remark it on the cheerful faces of other brats like me I thought to myself that is what I want my face to look like when I’m older, I won’t have time to play but I want to be happy just like that. I didn’t realize that at that moment I’d shoved my satisfaction into the far future, so that it may gaze upon me awaiting the day I claim it. I was unaware that I would walk up to my satisfaction of my own desire and claim what would cloud and thicken my soul, I learned the hard way that had I simply settled for a soulless adult finding pleasure in its absence things would have been normal, that I did not, and that happened not.
Several years later as exhausted as I was from the adult I had become before my time, focusing on the day I become a cheerful kid once more, a sky full of clouds reigned over the city one night and I had nowhere in mind to go. I figured that if I were to walk in the open on a rainy night, as I had once yet during the day did as a kid, I would find fragments of what I’d left behind, I would rejoice in the memories of a soul before my retribution arrives, little did I know that my retribution had already begun…
A flying umbrella and a wet jacket later, I was walking down the street looking to take a cab home, when the only passer-by, who indeed, turned out to be a taxi had already been taken by some woman. My silence had been broken by the halt of the cab driver, and just as I was recollecting my soundless refuge I was once more shaken by a horn, I walked up to the cab, my head had sunk in lower between my shoulders and I looked inside the window, the woman in the back opened the door for me, gesturing me into riding with her. I stopped for a mere moment; I’d almost suspected something had I not doubted how perfectly it was set up. And so I got into the cab. I would have announced my destination had I not been both intrigued and unwilling to go back out there, I was already raining myself. We arrived in front of a building, I could recognize it as it was only a couple of blocks away from mine, she got out of the car but before closing the door turned around and talked to me, that was when I saw a very innocent pale face, with very stretched dark eyes and a worried look. She actually asked me, a stranger to her, if I wanted to stay the night, I must have seemed like someone with nowhere to go, I felt embarrassed that I had to be pitied and lose face at first sight, I declined politely and said I was heading to my own.
A few more blocks later and I was already home, before I could take my leave off the taxi however, the driver turned around, he muttered only one word… “Innocence”. And indeed, I couldn’t exactly forget that innocent face.
To be continued...