Loving You

greetings.

This is clearly not my idea of letting go of you, but I think my journey has reached it's end. You're finally going to confess! That's great :) I'm finally going to confess as well, on Friday, when my feelings for you will finally be gone from my heart. But before I finally let go, I just want you to know how loving you felt like.

Loving you was all the late night conversations. Loving you was supporting you in your journey to capture her heart. Loving you was all the tears I've spent on crying over you. Loving you was accepting your flaws and embracing them. Loving you was all the bantering we rarely had. Loving you was choosing a gift for your loved one. Loving you was sticking by you when you felt like you were losing. Loving you was hearing your stupid humor. Loving you was laughing at all the crazy stuff we chatted about. Loving you was seeing how much you love her. Loving you was wanting to tell you what happened through the day but the moment you talk about her I just decide not to. Loving you was trying so hard not to express my feelings in front of you. Loving you was feeling my heart leap out of my chest whenever I see you. Loving you was writing poems and songs about you. Loving you was watching you from afar just admiring your very being. Loving you was wanting to be the girl she was, which I'll never be. Loving you was accepting that you deserved better. That you don't deserve a suicidal, depressed freak like me. Loving you was praying that you'll always be okay. Loving you was keeping track if we talked this day or not. Loving you was contemplating on whether I should talk first or not. Loving you was wanting to be by your side when you scraped your leg. Loving you was thinking about you all the time. Loving you was wondering if we're even friends or not. Loving you was all the stupid things I did for love. But mostly,

Loving you was witnessing the sturdy, thick love you had for her. It had nothing, no holes for my love to pass through.

Then that's it.

That's what it means to love you from my perspective.

I loved you, Kyle. So much.

LOVED.

It felt good to let this all out ^_^

Hope you win her! If you don't, I swear I'm gonna rip your head out xD

Sincerely,

A girl whose love you awakened, with no intention of loving her :')