Meeting Your Brad Pitt

There comes a time in every woman's life where her desperation level is at its highest and therefore she stops thinking twice about accepting to go out with a friend of her best gal pal. She finally plunges into the unknown and unwanted pool of consent. And oh how it hurts to have to reach that point in our lives where we would rather go on a blind date with God knows who than stay at home in our pyjamas watching reruns of "Friends".

You finally accepted to go out with the man your friend described as "such a funny guy". If you are a woman currently reading this, you know what that phrase means. You know that you should not be expecting Brad Pitt at all, and you had better settle for whatever is coming to meet you. Saying "such a funny guy" when you asked if he was good looking tells you, well...that he is not.

First things first, you should get ready. Apparently, your encounter with your mystery man will be at a lovely little bistro downtown: not too pricey as to leave the poor guy penny-less, but not too cheap so you will not think he will ask you to split the cheque when it is time to pay. You rush to your closet that may as well be the wardrobe that leads to Narnia, and start piling garment after garment on the floor, not giving anything a chance. The wardrobe crisis starts to kick in and soon you are sinking your face in that pile, crying "why me?” And that is when you see it; that casual yet fancy dress you had forgotten all about, right before your eyes, its black silk still shining like the first time you saw it. Ladies, you can never go wrong with a little black dress: keep that in mind.

Giving a quick glance at the clock, you realize you only have half an hour left before you start being fashionably late, so you hurriedly attempt to get into the dress at the same time you start combing your hair. You apply make up on, just enough so that you do not cross the thin line between being pretty and circus clown. Some concealer, mascara, eyeliner and gloss should do the trick. Always remember to take these with you whenever you go out, because you never know who or what you may come across.

At eight o'clock your doorbell rings and the moment of truth is in the grasp of your doorknob. You slowly turn it as it opens and just like that, the mystery is revealed. Yes, he is no Brad Pitt but to you, he is just the guy for the job.

All through the night, you are mentally making up a pros and cons list. Pros: he has a flawless smile, he listens, he has deep brown eyes, a penetrating stare and he is really funny. Cons: he is not Brad Pitt. He looks as if he has a receding hairline, he forgets to close his mouth while eating sometimes, he keeps mentioning his mother from time to time and he likes to pick his nose a bit when he thinks you are not looking.

After an unexpected night, he takes you back with a full stomach, a mentally over-loaded list of preferences and an urge to go to sleep. You finally arrive and after a good night kiss, you both part ways with the fake promise that you will definitely call him, while your hands desperately search for your keys. You step into your world once again and turn on the TV. Reruns of “Friends” are still on.