So..yeah..its been 2 years that i have joined engineering and i am in the end of the second semester which practically makes it almost equal to 3 years.
And i have been getting pretty bad grades and i am really worried about having these "assets".
few days ago,i was studying for an exam and i suddenly realized that whatever am studying does not interest me at all
and then the question popped in my head
"the hell am i doing this?"
and my brain had no answer
the human brain which has millions of thoughts going on in it every second just went blank!
i just thought for a moment why i was doing this.
i dont want a robotic life!!
i dont want this
i dont want to study something just for the sake of it
there is no passion
there is no desire!!
and someday i will acquire a job based on this and that day i will have to work on the same crap which i am not even able to study properly!
how will i even do it?
how did i possibly imagine myself doing this?
well yeah i was a kid and i didnt find anything else to be a better option than doing Btech.
but i didnt think all this through.
i suck at circuits
i legitimately suck.
but,i had the nerve to take electronic and communication engineering because i thought it would be interesting and now i am drowning in the ocean of circuits.
okay but what do i want?
i still dont know that
i like many things. but i cant possibly make my career out of everything i like
i like photography.
but for that,i need money,
and for money,i need a job!
how will i get a job i i dont have a degree with a good percentage!
and my baduck seems to be soooo good nowadays.
it screws me up like it is its' job!
and now i am struck in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!
i dont know where i am heading to
i dont know what i am gonna do nextt.
i dont know when i will find my path.
i reaaaaallly dont know anything
i really dont want to pursue a job with no passion but just for the sake of money.
i dont want a commercial life.
i want to have a life in which everyday,waking up is pleasant, not filled with repent!
i dont like regrets!
i dont want to regret!
where am i heading to?
what is gonna happen?
meanwhile i have an exam day after.
THERE IS NO FREAKING BREAK PEOPLE,THERE IS NO FREAKING BREAK!