Middle of nowhere!

So..yeah..its been 2 years that i have joined engineering and i am in the end of the second semester which practically makes it almost equal to 3 years.

And i have been getting pretty bad grades and i am really worried about having these "assets".

few days ago,i was studying for an exam and i suddenly realized that whatever am studying does not interest me at all

and then the question popped in my head

"the hell am i doing this?"

and my brain had no answer

the human brain which has millions of thoughts going on in it every second just went blank!

i just thought for a moment why i was doing this.

i dont want a robotic life!!

i dont want this

i dont want to study something just for the sake of it

there is no passion

there is no desire!!

and someday i will acquire a job based on this and that day i will have to work on the same crap which i am not even able to study properly!

how will  i even do it?

how did i possibly imagine myself doing this?

well yeah i was a kid and i didnt find anything else to be a better option than doing Btech.

but i didnt think all this through.

i suck at circuits

i legitimately suck.

but,i had the nerve to take electronic and communication engineering because i thought it would be interesting and now i am drowning in the ocean of circuits.

okay but what do i want?

i still dont know that

i like many things. but i cant possibly make my career out of everything i like

i like photography.

but for that,i need money,

and for money,i need a job!

how will i get a job i i dont have a degree with a good percentage!

and my baduck seems to be soooo good nowadays.

it screws me up like it is its' job!

and now i am struck in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!

i dont know where i am heading to 

i dont know what i am gonna do nextt.

i dont know when i will find my path.

i reaaaaallly dont know anything

i really dont want to pursue a job with no passion but just for the sake of money.

i dont want a commercial life.

i want to have a life in which everyday,waking up is pleasant, not filled with repent!

i dont like regrets!

i dont want to regret!

where am i heading to?

what is gonna happen?

meanwhile i have an exam day after.

THERE IS NO FREAKING BREAK PEOPLE,THERE IS NO FREAKING BREAK!