Waking up today is like a surprise to me. Watching my reflection in the mirror makes me feel hollow.. This is just another day, I told myself. Is there anything new today? Or just another boring and disgusting start of the week and end of the month battle.
I get up and make my coffee. I grab my cigarette and play the melody. Same routine I've been doing for 6 years of my freak life. I flip the tab and started writing this art. Sigh. This is an undying scratch. I am starting my day with an unwanted sights.
My girlfriend followed me outside. She just woke up and acting like a meek lad. She kissed my forehead like a normal day. I wish she kissed my lips instead. That would a lot better cause everytime she kisses me I feel like I am way too old for this dance.
I cleaned the frontyard. I played with water, dancing like a crazy ballerina. She approached me and hugged me. I looked at her with the intensity of forever. I asked her, " Do you love me ?" .She immediately answered, "Yes". I looked down and flip my stare. I wish I could feel her sincerity. I know she loves me and I love her too. However it seems to me that love is no longer an issue. I don't know what's wrong but I know in between these sweetnothings that we are exchanging are undying problems.
Is it hard to love me? Is it hard to be with me? Am I that unbearable. I feel broken inside again for an unknown reason.I feel sad .
I went inside the bathroom and pretended that I am doing something. I actually just wanna have some " me time". I actually finishing this crap while listening to the water shouting from this old and ugly faucet. Then, I dropped my phone and it PUBLISH.