I know he made you feel special. I know that when you were with him you felt like the world could've be collapsed yet you both would've survived because your love was stronger than anything.
He made you laugh which therefore made your day a little brighter. He calmed the storms inside of your head and let you fall asleep in his arms. There was no place you’d rather be when you were with him. He was all you ever needed.
His voice was like a melody and even when you weren't with him, you played it on repeat in your head. He said he loved everything about you, you despised before and made you learn to appreciate it. He was magnetic, charismatic yet he had nothing special. He didn’t need to do anything to genuinely make you feel good, and you finally felt like someone had loved you for who you are not for who everyone thinks you are.
He was yours. You were his. But that's not the case anymore.
It’s not your first kiss that’s going to be hard to forget, it’s how you felt while you were with him. It’s how you could sit in silence for hours and hours, watching the sunrise and feel good. It’s how he made you laugh by lighting the wrong end of his cigarette. It’s how he opened your bottle of beer before his, without you asking for it. It’s how he told his friends you were his. It’s how he understood you like no one did before. It’s how you felt like you needed no other home but his arms.
It’s the little things you’re going to miss, not the big moments.
But he let you go remember that. And, love isn’t about letting go. It’s about staying together no matter the circumstances. Love is about being together and facing everything together. It’s wanting to build something together. It’s about who you want to tell your best, or worst news, first. It’s walking hands in hands. It’s watching sunsets together. It’s feeling the butterflies in your stomach. It’s about doing silly things together.
But love is also about, tears, patience, dedication and loyalty and obviously he wasn’t ready for this.
It wasn’t your fault and don’t you ever blame yourself. He’s not worth your tears. I know he made you feel special but you are a unique creature, a work of art, a precious gem who deserves to be loved and if he’s not capable of that, then let him go. You deserve someone who sticks by your side and would never let you go no matter what happens. Someone to whom your happiness is more important than his. You are beautiful and could do so much better. You were alive and fine before him, you can still continue to live and breathe without him. Remember, you are not his 5 minutes cigarette break that he can lit up whenever he wants, you are a diamond and he should've known your value before breaking your heart.
Be strong and move on.
He left you once and as much as he might swear that he changed and that regrets letting you go, as much as deep inside you need to realise that no one really changes. If you left you once, he can leave you twice or thrice and unfortunately many will do.
But it’s okay, life goes on. Mend your shattered heart, wipe those tears and move on. Someday someone will fall for you and will never let you go. Don’t lose hope, just learn to love again.