My 5:00 o'clock Phantasm

     One...two...three...As I ended my counting routine, I sluggishly opened my eyes. An unknown force restrained me to get away from my beloved bed, that's sleepiness, my everyday enemy. The sunlight peeked on my window telling me to resist and let my body to welcome the new day. I stretched my hands left and right as I stand beside my bed. I slightly closed my eyes to pray for a while, to thank for the another chance he gave to me, to live on his masterpiece and to ask for additional guidance including for my family. I began to rub my drowsy eyes in front of the mirror and still motivating my self to begin the morning. The calendar on my door back seemed commanding me to approach it, I turned the page in the current month and I felt so love to the present date as it showed to me, December 18, Saturday. Asking why? It's just a secret. But wait, I picked my phone and greeted my one and only, my crush, Chloe the one that I loved and loved me too, but I suddenly stopped I'm not sure but I think she also has mutual feelings for me.

     "Good Morning Hon!" with matching colorful heart, I texted and hoping for her response. "Ring-ring," I rapidly opened my phone as a received a message. "Too," she replied. Even though it's short this is a valid reason for me to smile and continue the conversation with the only girl of my life."How are you?," I asked. "I'm okay," she responded. "That's good," I smile as I sent it. After this message I patiently wait for her to ask me "How about you?," but it's already 10 minutes ago after her last text and I think she will not reply anymore. I assumed that she's doing something but I query, "important than mine?". Negative thoughts try to conquer me but I ignored. I decided to text her again, "What are you doing now?". She quickly responded, "None". Another bad thought ran in my mind, she's not doing something but why he didn't ask me too if I'm okay. Again I disregard. "Oh cool, Take a lot of care, I love you!," again I texted her with the allowance of love. I'm waiting for an answer that would probably make me smile, the keyword "I love you too". I received the text from her saying "Take care also" but without the word I'm expecting. I overlook and just replied to her " Thank you!" and that's how our conversation closed down.

     Maybe other will doubt and wonder about my motives on why I stayed with this woman. Well, that's the so called Unconditional Love. And I'm proud to mention that believe it or not, this our final day. Yes, last day for this year because the next day is a big day for us, I wished also for her. The day after this will proudly open the additional chapter of our undying journey. Tomorrow is our 3rd year anniversary, an absolute celebration for us, again hoping that also for her it's special.

     I closed my door as I leave my room. I heard my sometimes alarm clock, the horrifying voice of my mother shouted my name clearly. "Ben!," she bawled. "Yes, coming!," I answered while running. Her tone prompted me to quickly depart. I had to break my momentum as I smelled the common stench that is ceaseless in conquering our house. The smoke of cigarette easily trounced the serene air as it mixed with it. This suffocating odor that distorted the atmosphere in the house is released by our family's volcano, my Father. After a few minutes of cessation, I instantly go.

     Again my mother shouted my name, "Ben!". I didn't reply instead I just ran again. I saw her bustled in playing cards and at the right side is the cigarette stubs, the usual scene in our terrace. "You're so stupid!, how many times do I need to call you," she said as her welcome. The first statement tortured my feelings utterly. I'm not expecting for a "Good Morning" but her greeting was unexpected although it's perennial. Nothing to worry about because it's a normal day for us. "Sorry," I replied. This short response has never been appreciated by her. I never blame her about it instead I used to keep myself silent and treat this kind of situation as nothing. "Buy me three sticks of a cigarette!" she directed to me as she gave the ten peso coins. I didn't answer even stopped her rather I just obeyed. For a long period of time, I'm so weary. Yes so tired in convincing her to cease in this perilous habit. My mother has no lousy habit until such time she needs something that will probably help her in bad times. This is what she believed and time taught me to accept. I flown without wings just to satisfied her, I hastily got to the nearest store. "Here is your candy," I jokily said to her. He didn't react nor just picked the lighter.

     I left my mother as she began to smoke and didn't bide for her to say "thank you". I proceeded gently back to our house and played again with the fumed that almost occupied our living room. Inside and out was surrounded by this white smoke, my mother takes charge in outside while my father is the responsible inward. I saw my Dad and started to dig into my memory, I remembered something lame. Everything started when my older sister died because of incurable disease come to her. This tragic mishap made them specially my mother felt so pessimistic. Their biggest dream before was gone that is to have a daughter. The violent depression caused by this tragedy pushed my mother to get involved in various crummy doings, unnecessarily. My father greatly influenced my mother to use cigarettes as aid and friend at the same time. Well, maybe this is the only remedy that will cure her in missing my sister. That's why I can't blame her even told to end with this. "Haaayyy!," I sadly said because of flash back. After this, I immediately came to the kitchen to find some food that will satisfy my hungriness but the table is empty, nothing to eat. I found one pack of biscuit and opened it instantly as I go back in my room. I closed the door quietly and leaned against it with a sorrowful stoop.

     I have my father, I have my mother but it seemed I have not. I had lost my interest to talk with them, I lost. I could say that we have a conversation, yes a loveless one. I dropped my body on my bed, I'm very incessantly glum. My phone rang at the top of my pillow wherein I left it previously. I decided to text Chloe to have someone that will comfort me. "Hello, how are you?," with a smile, I passed to her. It's already 20 minutes after I had sent my message but I'm not able to receive any response from her. Unfortunately, the entire world is against to me, that's what I felt. This is the kind of life I used to live every day. Almost bad but lack of good.

     Let's jump to the night I'm intended to sleep. Of course, I want to close my eyes after reading her message and fall a sleep with a simple but pregnant smile caused by her. " Hon?," I said while seeking for her response. "Yes?" she answered. I asked her, "How's your day?". " Good, how about you?" she replied. " My day? It's good" with a smile I said to her. Every time she asked me I constantly say "Good", opposite from the reality that I used to live. Before my final words for this night I greeted her "Advanced Honey!". "For what?" she asked me. I'm so shocked when she texted me with this serious question. "Nothing," I replied with a laughing face. I answered her and just assumed that this was a gag. "Good Night:) I love you;* God Bless," I said to her as my final words for this night. I'm so drained. My energy is poorly absent and left me. I'm so drowsy but I resisted from it just to read her response. "Good Night. I love you too," she replied. This words made me smiled, yes it was a valid reason for me. We decided to sleep and she never asked again concerning my previous greeting. Before I completely closed my eyes, I prayed to thank for the day and for the blessings we received. I also asked for his guidance and let us sleep on his glorifying love. One...two...three, I willingly closed my sleepy eyes.

     It was dawn when I woke up. The sun is not completely present though it's visible. It was the day that I felt something mysterious and anomalous. But I drive myself to think to was nothing hence just a normal one. It's already 5:06 am when my phone rang. I picked it and immediately opened. I received two messages from Chloe. "Haaa?," I reacted. I rubbed my eyes because of hesitation. My heart pumped up as I read her message for me. "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Honey!Thank you for your love," her first message. "Good Morning I love you!" the content of her second text. I'm so absolutely shocked and totally in love. It was never expected that he is the first to greet me. I used to think that she pretended yesterday that she had no any idea about what to celebrate today. Thinking she planned it. I reacted rapidly without hesitancy. "Ayieee I love you too! Happy 3rd Anniversary," I sweetly responded to her. I'm colossally happy that lasted a couple of hours.

     I closed my door as I leave my room. I heard my sometimes alarm clock, the horrifying voice of my mother shouted my name clearly. "Ben!," she bawled. "Yes, coming!," I answered while running. Her tone prompted me to quickly depart. I had to break my momentum as I smelled the atypical aroma that obviously came from the dining area. Again my mother shouted my name, "Ben!". I didn't reply instead I just ran again. I saw her bustled in preparing our breakfast. "Good Morning, why you're so late? How many times do I need to call you?" she asked as her welcome. The first statement boosted my feelings unintentionally. Her greeting was unexpected. In that time there is something I needed to worry because it's not a normal day for us. "Good Morning" I replied without wondering. "Call your father cause we were about to eat," she directed to me. There's something wrong, the stench of a smoke caused by cigarette is absent. Instead, the fragrance of a coffee welcomed me. The cigarette he usually holding is replaced by a hot coffee. I used to think about what's happening but keep my mouth muted. I approached him to tell what my mother dictated. "Dad, let's eat," I said to him. He didn't answer but he stood and just tapped me on my shoulder three times. I wonder why he did it. The extensive flaws before is either missing or revamped. I never thought it would happen. After the meaningful breakfast with my family, I go back to my room with the bag of smiles. I closed my and instead of bow I look at the ceiling with the words "thank you!".

     Without wavering, I get my phone. "7 messages from Chloe" as the notification pumped up. Her messages surprised me enough as he continuously sent " I love you" to me. I preciously responded to her, " I love you too, so much!". Her strange sweetness made me crazy felt in love. It seemed that I am a drought dried and asking for water that will fulfill my needs. Unintentional, I suddenly sleep. As I opened my eyes I looked at the wall clock. "Haaa?!,". I rubbed my eyes because I couldn't believe. It's already 7:32 at the morning. I picked my phone but there was nothing, there's no anyone sent me a message especially Chloe.

     At the middle of my curiosity, I finally realized that this is an atrocious dream a nightmare to be considered. Everything I experienced is just a fugacious happiness. But sometimes I'm thankful for this because it put me on a blissful fantasy that I would never see in my sad reality.

     I heard the horrifying shout of my Mother that pushed me to leave my great illusion. "Ben!," my mother bawled.