MY F.R.I.E.N.D.S

You’re not a rocket scientist if you have guessed (by looking at the title) that I am a crazy fan of ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’ TV series. It’s the best TV series ever made (period and a few exclamations).!!! But I am not here to write about the TV series and how it has deeply influenced my life. I am actually thinking of writing something about the other kind of ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’, ‘My Friends’.

Before I start talking about ‘My Friends’, I believe it is very important to give the origin story. So going just a little back in time, it is believed that God first created two human beings with the idea that he would keep them up in Heaven forever as his disciples and would control everything they would do. Then one fine day Adam and Eve met and became friends. They went to the ‘Garden of Eden’ and plucked the only forbidden fruit in that garden and gave God a migraine attack. That’s when God realized that (when two friends meet) even God can have a migraine. So God took a giant fucking meteor and threw it at some planet, destroyed all the Dinosaurs and threw the human beings on this planet which is now known as Earth. It is further believed that God still creates humans and stores them up in Heaven. Nowadays the fruit isn’t the ‘forbidden thing’ in Heaven but it is making friends. Thus, when the humans start making friends in Heaven, the whole bunch of them are thrown all over Earth and God makes sure that these humans spend their lives in search of these friends.

In fact, I recently saw an advertisement of Amazon which said that Amazon offers over 20 million products to choose from. But you can’t find ‘Friends’ on Amazon. Although you can buy ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’ merchandise including DVDs, T-Shirts, Mugs, mobile covers etc. (again, I am not here to advertise ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’). Although, if friends were sold on Amazon, I guess the ‘About this item’ section would read as follows:

• They will always irritate you;

• They will make you listen to their stupid stories (even if you don’t want to) so that you feel sad for them;

• They will make you want to kill them;

• They will make you smile and laugh;

• They will rejoice in your happiness (although you would be the one paying for the party where they rejoice);

• They will cry with you when you are upset;

• They will give you advise and even force it onto you (when you need it but you’re too egoistic to ask);

• They would accompany you to movie theatres, road side food stalls (especially Chinese Vans), for metro rides and long walks without knowing the destination (or the route) etc.;

• They will make life ‘Heaven’ on earth (giving God a migraine again whenever he looks at Earth).

So coming back to ‘My Friends’ and how I found them. I would just like to say in the paraphrased words of Liam Neeson from his movie Taken – “I have a very particular set of skills which I will use to find you and I will befriend you.” And using my specific set of skills. I have already found (added to my cart) many of those friends whom I met back in the Heaven days. And I realized one thing, that they are bunch of idiots. They have to be, because they are friends with me.

In this island of misfit toys, friends are the reason for a smile, the joke for a laughter, they are the wallets when my wallet is empty (although they are also the reason why my wallet is empty) and they are so much more. Thus, I have to say to you that ‘My Friends’ are amazing (you should feel privileged if you’re my friend and you get to read this).

To conclude, I would like to end in the wise words of Vin Diesel from Fast and Furious (Yes, I am a movie buff) – ‘I don’t have friends. I have family.’ My friends are my family.