My habit

I saw you running after that most pretty girl of my class. Not that i liked you or had a crush on you but your devotion towards that girl was something that attracted me. First time i saw a seniors being so interested in his junior crush. Your countless attempts to meet her, to propose he,r to be your girlfriend was something i was interested in. You asked every second person you would meet to help you in getting that girl's details. I just stood back and watched you trying. Trying so hard to get her. You didn't asked my help but still i approached that girl and asked why doesn't she accepted your proposal but all i got was denial. Then that glorious day finally came when you texted me on my Facebook account asking me for help for getting that girl. I agreed instantly as if i was waiting for that opportunity. That day since we started talking, all the time texting each other, and she was the topic. I approached that girl for you countless of times, sometimes telling her sweet things that you think of her and sometimes your so passionate love for her.Your love for her was something i was jealous about. Something i couldn't believe. You made me realized that true love does exist. And i was jealous that why couldn't i find someone like you who would love me same as u do to that girl. From God's grace that girl eventually accepted you as her boyfriend and i was on cloud nine as if it was me who achieved something. I was really happy for you but slowly you seemed to be getting away from me. That girl taking you away from me. You called me YOUR ANGEL and she was jealous of it. But it wasn't something i was worried about because you were happy. Now our day long talks became very less because now you were with her and now we had nothing to talk about. Soon i got a proposal and got busy with my boyfriend. We were still friends but our partners were more important, i think, for both us. After a year since we'd started talking and 9 months from your relationship you both broke up. It wasn't that i was happy for your broken heart but from that very day God gave me one of those important person of my life. You. You cried in front of me. You shared your broken heart with me. And patiently i used to listen. Sort out your problems. And eventually making you feel better. I started to hated that girl. I was the only one who knew that you really loved her but she didn't cared about you . Your love was something that she didn't deserved but still you went after her knowing that she made someone else her boyfriend but still you went on making her realized that you loved her.  I stood there watching you craving for her. Begging from God for her and all i did was trying to make you understand that she isn't meant for you. Meanwhile my boyfriend and me got serious for our relationship and was totally into each other. I didn't realized when talking to you became my habit, consoling you became my habit, sharing even the slightest bit of my life with you became my habit and how you became MY HABIT. My misunderstandings with my boyfriend were sorted out by you. My every tear would fall into your hands and my every sorrow shared by you. Your low mood was being cheered up by me and my every problem's solution was you. During my first break up you were the one who made me realized how much i loved my boyfriend and saved my relationship. But all i did was to console you and could not do anything to get your love back. Soon you became my Half Boyfriend, i used to say i love you to you and got back i love you more from you. Our friendship crossed limits now i was an open book to you, my darkest secrets were known by you. We became best of best buddy and now you cannot be replaced in my life and so was i in yours. Our friendship was now a such a level that everyone in the school started to think that now we were in love and that we were in relationship. Now this was something my boyfriend didn't liked. He understood us but he just couldn't understand what everyone in the school was talking about us. Though he saw me talking to you during our recess. Standing with a whole lot of your friends. He ignored everyone and believed me. But those never ending rumors were to much of him. And one dreadful day i fought with him for you. We talked about you. We argued for you but eventually that argument came to an end without any further discussion and appropriate solution. In the following week i broke up with him for not giving me time but it came out to be a huge fight. We fought and i cried. You weren't there for me for the first time in my life. You fell asleep early that night. And at that point of time i was screaming for you. I wanted you very badly. I didn't had anyone to share my problems and i was dying from the inside for you. Next day in school. I caught you and cried in front of you. Cried like a hell and told everything. You brought my boyfriend there but no actual solution came out. I was really messed up at that time. After the school got over we met again, you went to talk to my newly Ex-boyfriend and came back with and extreme expressionless face. I asked what happened and at last you told me that my boyfriend whom i loved very much and who was MY NEED wanted me to stop talking to you. I was in an utter shock. I was feeling like earth had shifted below my feet and that my world was collapsing. I tried convinced my boyfriend but these fake rumors just killed up his trust for me. All what problem he had with me was he didn't liked me talking to you and particularly just you. You were too very upset because you were the one fighting to get both of us back and you were the only cause of the breakup. Not it was only the mistake of the rumors but me too because i used to tease my boyfriend in the name of you that you were the one who gave me the time and i wasn't his priority. I used to thank God for me giving you two. The most important persons of my life. And also that you both were friends too and i will never have to chose anyone of you ever. But this life was never happy with me. This life took me at such a point that i have to make a choice between MY NEED and MY HABIT. I wanted to end my life at that point of time as this was something i never ever expected from my life. But again you were there for me. To help me out of this trauma. You were the one who acted most maturely among the three of us. I never expected you to understand me so much and this critical situation. You were the one who made me realized that no matter if we talked or not you will always be there for me and our friendship will never end. I was ready to leave you and my boyfriend both. But you were the one who chose to sacrifice his Half Girlfriend, His Angel, me, for my relationship. I am very grateful to you that you made this decision for me. I was bound by my love, but you unleashed me from your friendship. I still miss talking to you. Acting silly in front of you. Sharing the details of my life with you. I miss you so much. Today also we bump into each other during the day at school but i don't talk to you. I regret my childish behaviour. My bad deeds had led me to a deadly end of our relationship. I never knew my love would cost me so much. And finally i chose MY NEED instead of MY HABIT and killed YOUR ANGEL forever.