My Unsent Letters

Dear Juliet,

On the back of my favorite books is a small notebook that contains letters. A collections of unsent letters to a boy. Today, I am planning in burning those letters thinking that by doing so I can finally undo the spell that has gripped my heart for years. I want to be able to say with all honesty that I am fine and I have moved on.

You might be wondering what those letters contain, don't you? No, they are not the kind of love letters about my great love for him. Instead, those letters are filled with poisonous emotions like anger, hatred, jealousy, sorrow, loneliness and sadness. Such are the emotions that I harbored as I wrote those letters. Now, you know why they remained unsent. I don't think he would dare read it after just going through the first sentence.

You must be asking why would I right such letters but I think you already have an idea, don't you? You are right, it is because I was hurt. I loved him not just romantically but generally. I loved him because he was always there for me. He was the one person who would say yes to my request to go walking in town in the middle of the night. He was the one who would listen to my problems. He was the one who would let me be mean to him. I mean he was a friend who was really there. I have lost countless friends through the years. They hurt me but not as much as he had. As I think about it now, I think it was the promises that were made which made it really painful. It was when those promises were broken that turned love into hatred. For years, I kept that hatred in my heart and its outlet were those unsent letters.

But as I grew older, I realized that I needed to let go because how can I love if my heart is rotten because of all the poison it contains. So with time, I learned to let go of him. I learned to let go of the emotions that were associated with his name. I can now listen to his name being mentioned without remembering the happy times that were turned sour by the hatred or even the poisonous letters. I can now face him without the 'heart skips a beat' reaction that i had when I was in love with him or the unbearable hatred that made me wanna punch him in the face. No, I can now look at him straight in the eye and just consider him as one of those faces I pass by on the street.

Juliet, love really is fascinating. It turns you into the most beautiful and happiest woman because you know that someone is loving you but it also turns you into the most hideous of creatures when that love is betrayed. And yet, love still is the one thing that changes you. I know it did for me, from being a hideous creature I turned into a woman who has found beauty in loving again.

Juliet, I am now moving forward with a hopeful heart and someday, I know that I will find the man whom I will write love letters to and won't be afraid to send it. Wish me luck and Thank you.

with all the love,

The Joy of the Snow