Nightmares

When I was a child, there were times that I was afraid to sleep. I always fear closing my eyes because darkness immensely discomforts my young, fearful, imaginative mind. I tend to distract myself with noises that I create which somehow combats the deafening silence that shatters my ears. You want to know who my intruder is? The Grim Reaper.  This beast, dressed in black, would momentarily appear in my deep sleep which was enough for me to catch my breath leaving me with nothing but a racing heartbeat. My body rebels the forceful beast who gives me such tribulations which will surely reappear every hour before the heat of the sun finishes the intruder ablaze. Before that happens, I found myself praying that I immediately find the escape to this frightening nightmare. 

Years passed by and I grew older, I figured out the true escape to my distress—  conditioning the mind that this, too, shall pass and EVERYTHING IS NOT REAL.

Yes. Whether how surreal the nightmare was, it will come to a point that you will open your eyes and feel the urge to get your body out of bed and start your day as you regularly do. I also realized that at some point, nightmares don't always antagonize us but rather, it serves as a reminder that when things get out of control, changing the way we see things could be the greatest escape we had long waited for. Therein, I slowly felt a sense of relief.

But you know what? Nightmares do not easily subside in waking up knowing the only thing worse than having a nightmare is the fact that you are wide awake.

I am now caught off guard in this nightmare called reality. How can I change the way I think? How can I fight my own existence?

My tactile skin was agitated with the terrifying adversities. 

Goosebumps reappeared. 

Hands are trembling.

Uncontrollable sweat bathes my entire being which accompanied the tears that these tormented eyes were shedding. 

This time, the beast was no longer dressed in black.

I was startled by what I saw.

The Grim Reaper was me.