The Other Side

The thick drops pattered against the worn out jute mat covering the only windowed niche in the mud wall. While the one room hut was safely cocooned by the light drizzle outside, the inside held storms of clashing thoughts and uproars of negative emotions. Yes, she was alone but her thoughts never left her feeling lonely, because they were the only thing constant in her life other than the uneven beating of her heart. Having an immoral woman for a mother and a wanderer brother left you pretty much boycotted. She left her safe nest strung together by the rough strings of the charpai, and padded her way across the clay covered floor to light an earthen diya, the only thing she could afford with her meager savings. She left the diya at the threshold of her hut and inhaled the sweet essence of wet mud left behind after the heavy downpour. Dusk was approaching fast and she hurried inside, slamming the door behind.

She rummaged through the contents of her dusty closet and pushing aside all the tattered hand-me-down pieces; she pulled out the sparkly golden frock she kept apart for all the special occasions and festivals. The setting sunrays filtered through the gaps of the jute mat giving the cheap piece an ethereal glow that reflected in her shimmering eyes. Stripping out of her clothing and pulling the garment over her head, her heart swelled with pride at her possession. She combed coconut oil in her hair and twirled around the edge of a pool formed by rain water. Satisfied with what she saw in the reflection she slipped in her flip flops and went outside with a jump in her walk. The moment she locked the door behind her, thousands of diyas and millions of fairy lights lit up the dark canvas that was Mumbai, making it the brightest spot on the world map for that fateful night. Having no destination in mind, Suman roamed around for a little while, her gaze lingering on the mountains of mouth watering sweets and the heaps of cracker packets for the kids leaving behind a longing in her heart but she knew she was not welcome, for she was an ostracized outcast.

She went towards Priya’s home and hid her small frame behind the intertwining wild vines. The rough bark scraped her bare arms, her long rough tresses getting caught up in the unforgiving branches, but ignoring all this, she peered across the thick oak tree to see her best friend swaying her long skirt to the beat of the chilly October wind and her brother’s friends shrieking at the top of their lungs when another diffused a cracker near their ear.

Heaven knew she wished to join them, burn crackers and laugh till the wee hours of the morning, but the raw pain was still too fresh. On the auspicious day of Diwali, when every human was merry making she was caught in the webs of her memories, the rough patch when her father died and she was branded a loose woman just because her mother took up prostitution to put food in her six year old’s belly. A tear skimmed down her chapped cheek when she recalled- relived the moment, Priya’s mother had slapped her with her calloused hand, calling her a witch and the small silhouette hiding behind her momma’s sari clutching the pink fabric for dear life, looked at her with plain rejection in her eyes. Priya was too young to understand the meaning of what was said at that time, but now, at the age of twelve she understood everything all too well, for she was always in the forefront of the miniature army set up to humiliate her, ruin whatever sense of peace was left in her, destroy her. She shook her head gently to shake away the humiliation, bid a silent goodbye to the laughing trio and slipped away from the thorny shrubs.

Humming her brother’s lullaby softly she treaded across the slums of Mumbai trying her very best not to throw green with envy looks at the happy people bustling out of their houses. She didn’t want thousands of crackers or hundreds of sweets, all she wanted, was a family. A brother to tease her, a father to call her his princess and a mother to cuddle her when she had nightmares, was all she asked. She came across the sweet stall of Gupta ji, one of the only people considerate of her small heart when the others were so cruelly admonishing her of her worthlessness. With the hopes of having at least one small left over sweet for celebrating Diwali, she went to the bald man who was busily filling up paper cones and shouting orders at his helpers to weigh gulabjamuns. Her twelve year old frame reached his waist and she lightly tugged at his vest only to be dismissed with a wave of his hand. She tugged again, harder this time and he turned around with an impatient frown that quickly turned to a thunderous scowl on seeing her petite frame holding out a hand. The vivacious eyes she had inherited from her mother; the very same ones that were his oxygen till a few months ago did nothing to quench his anger. Red veins popped out from his eyes and a sweat bead trickled down his forehead to the clenched jaw. The golden glow from the bulb illuminated his dark features making him look like Raavan’s incarnation; as if Raavan himself had been resurrected to life after Lord Rama’s return to Ayodhya. He kneeled down before the small girl, and put his hands on her shoulders, adding to the pressure with every word, “Go away and don’t come back, ever again. No one wants you here, do you understand? It’s better if you and your witch of a mother die. Earth would be a much better place after being rid of dogs like you.” She winced under his strong hold, not because of the sharp pain in her shoulders but because of the sting his words had caused her. She may be twelve in age but her maturity level could compete with a twenty year old. He pushed her away as if she was dirt and she stumbled slightly, her golden frock catching light at multiple places highlighting her. Soon a chorus of “apshaguns” (ominous) started and the cries followed her till the moment she was driven out of the neighborhood.

She looked up at the crackers-star filled sky and smiled softly. Their harsh words and colorful abuses echoed in her mind, the “burn in hell” and the “go away” engraved in her memory forever. She strolled along the parks, played with the shadows and chased the insects, but nothing made her feel any less lonely than before, nothing seemed to fill the big black void in her small heart. She looked to the right and saw a big sky scraper twinkling with golden lights and to her left were kids about her size, all jumping up and down with glee. Awestruck, she stared at the multi colored canopy that was the concrete jungle and took in the beauty of the other side of this city with bewilderment. She had never seen anything so surreal, something that seemed out of this universe, something that made her feel at the top of the whole wide world. The ecstatic Diwali was just an icing on the cake.

While the scenery around her portrayed serene beauty, true tranquility and a picturesque life, danger was lurking just around the corner, waiting for the perfect moment to trespass the line and invade her bubble of personal space. Sniffing the perfect moment, the invader readied himself but maybe it was fate or our protagonist’s sheer luck that two kids around her age waved her over. Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, and she all but ran towards the only human contact she would have with someone outside her family after a whooping six year gap. The younger one who looked about ten smiled shyly at her and she wanted to tackle him in a bear hug. It may be a simple smile he threw at all the strangers but for her it meant acceptance. Someone who had accepted her, for who she was and not ridiculed her very existence for her mother’s choice of profession, someone who was her savior, the restorer of her faith in humanity. The older boy who looked around fifteen offered her a cracker from his huge packet and she almost snatched it greedily. But the moment her hand enveloped his, it was swatted away like dirt. Suman’s eyes grew wide as they connected with beautiful kohl lined charcoal eyes. Draped in a chiffon sari, the beautiful woman grasped the hand of the ten year old and with a sneer on her face, addressed her, “what are you doing here, scum? Trying to climb the social ladder by associating yourself with my kids? Aren’t you too small for that? But then again you people are predators the minute you come out of your mother’s womb,” she clapped her hands together and bowed her head in mock surrender, whispering, “just…just stay away from my sons. Go away.”

The older boy opened his mouth to say something but closed it and opened it again like a gaping fish. No words were necessary because the message was crystal clear. She stood there with her feet rooted to the ground, her eyes inspecting every flaw from her toes up to her knees, the ruined flip flops and the mud stains marring her athletic calves. A lone tear slipped down her cheeks and the realization that years of neglect had not really toughened her frightened her. Till now she thought that her brother was her Achilles’ heels, and nothing else mattered. She always expected the worst yet somehow this sudden blow felt like a bullet to her heart. Knocking out all the wind from her lungs and leaving her vulnerable to all the dangers on the cold hard ground. A sudden drop in the temperature forewarned her, and she had learnt to trust her intuition for signaling danger. She wanted to run away with her tail between her legs and never look back at the high walls glowing with golden lights. It was as if she had been transported to another plane and if the shiver running down her spine was anything to go by, all she wanted to do was run back to her worn out blanket, pull it up to her chin and rock herself to sleep. But she couldn’t possibly return till everyone else had gone to sleep.

She chided herself for ever leaving the safety of her home, for trying to find out what Diwali had to offer this unfortunate girl. No luck ever came to girls like her, no stars ever shone on them, than what had inspired the preposterous notion in her air-headed brain? Once again she looked up at the bright sky and wished to be a part of these crackers. They come, brighten everyone’s lives and burn out, but she came, put the people around her in misery and will soon die away. Glancing towards the tall buildings that held her fascination only minutes ago, she caught a reflection of herself. Dark complexion contrasting against the blinding gold, her hair pointing out in all directions because of the rough tugging of the wild branches, her dress ripped at various places from the stampede at Gupta ji’s and her vivacious, full of life eyes now dull. She stomped over the peacock rangoli in the middle of the street in her childish tantrum, reducing it to what she was feeling. Ruined. Pressing her feet hard against the peacock head, immense satisfaction hit her, only to be replaced by adrenaline pumping through her veins as a strange smell engulfed her senses; her scream was muffled by a large hand, and a rocket swished from her left just as she lost all consciousness to the heavy dosage of chloroform.

Her head rolled to the side and a strangled groan escaped her dry lips. She blinked several times and when her eyes adjusted to the darkness, a scream was caught in the stuffed handkerchief. A shabbily dressed man with unkempt stubble and a mop of disheveled hair was leaning towards her. Their breaths mingled together and their close proximity didn’t sit well with her. She tried to break free and run away, where she didn’t know, but that was beside the point right now. Hot tears blinded her eyes, and her throaty groans went unheard by anyone other than her kidnapper. She tugged at the ropes binding her arms but the white rope was securely holding them together. The same was with her legs. The kidnapper watched the little girl in amusement for some time and then slapped her right across her cheeks silencing her.

“Hush now, little princess. You can’t do anything but my bidding now.” He brushed away a strand from her cheek and her toes crawled on sensing his breath. Alcohol, cigarettes and something she couldn’t describe, all rolled into one horrifyingly pungent smell. “You will fetch me a good price in the international market. But…” a sinister smile stretched on his face making him look even more evil if that was possible. His hand traced a path from her elbows up to her shoulder and a vicious chuckle filled the air around them. Her body trembled with fear beneath him and her face had paled making her look like a ghost. He was about to slip his hand under the hood of her sleeve when a loud voice laced with authority reverberated “STOP.”

His hand felt limply to his side. Knowing he couldn’t do anything but run for the hills he fixed her with a quick glare and ran away behind the bushes. The stranger helped her up and she thanked the kind hearted young adult. God knew what would have happened if he hadn’t come by at the right time. She shivered thinking about the possibilities and almost missed the nod he gave as a reply. He held her hand and gently led her to a more crowded street. A blanket of silence wove itself around them but not the suffocating kind, it was the one that wrapped around like a protective sheath, guarding off the cold.

She knew she should be wary, on her guard and not at all putty in his hands but she threw all caution out of the window and blindly followed him to the rock boulders guarding the natural bay, to Marine Drive. As they settled down on the smooth rocks, he cut through the silence first, “I am sorry for what you just experienced, you are too small for growing up like that, and if-if…” he was at a loss of words and looked up at the twinkling sky. Maybe he wanted to find the correct words, the inspiration to let it all out by staring at the millions of golden-blue-silvery white specs or maybe he was just trying to find a reason not to talk. “It would have been a traumatic experience,” he silently whispered. The cool breeze ruffled her hair and he turned to her slightly before saying, “you know you deserve an award for your bravery out there.”

She smiled sadly and pulled her knees up to her chin before replying, “I don’t need a reward. All I want for this Diwali is my brother, no crackers, no sweets, nothing. All I burn for is-him. For so many years he was my rock, for so many years he was my best friend, my sister, my guardian, but now, he is gone, and I don’t know what to do, where to go, whom to trust. It’s like the sun of my universe has decided to go on a yearlong eclipse and I don’t know how I will survive that doom.” Everything was silent once again, only the distant shrills and the speeding cars keeping her aware of the world around her. Once again he sliced the thick air with an attempt at a joke, and the next fleeting moments passed by in a blur, with her laughs and their constant bickering.

She was doubled over in laughter when a distinctive lullaby reached her ears. A tune she often caught herself humming. The words her brother used to sing when he used to rock her to sleep. She turned around and there he was, her brother in the very flesh smiling down at her. She knew he bared his soul to her in that very moment and she ran to his open arms, feeling that feeling of safety, of contentment, of…home. He ran a hand through her hair, her silent tears leaving a wet trail on his shirt. “I will never leave you ever again,” he promised her and the words brought her back to reality. She was going home. She finally had a home! She looked up at the heavens and whispered her thanks with tears in her eyes. Opening her eyes slowly she hugged her brother tighter. She still couldn't believe that he was here, with her, after so many years.

“What were you doing here alone?” Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Alone? She was not alone. She took a step back and looked around for her new friend. But all she saw was an empty Marine Drive. All traces of him ever being there had vanished, disappeared into thin air. She scrunched up her face in confusion but didn't pay much heed to her thoughts, for her brother was back. What more did she need? The crackers above shined in his brown eyes and she buried her face in his chest hearing the faint whisper for the last time,

“Happy Diwali.”