Prison of the past

No one had noticed the crushing of my things in my room, and with the thunder’s roar and whistling of winds, no one heard my wailing. I rummaged through the cabinet, searching for a special thing, a clock. But it was not there.

I rested my head on the edge of my bed, letting my body slouched on the cold surface, shudder ran through me. Tears started to flow, stinging my eyes. My legs were trembling, I felt dizzy and a little bit queasy. The wind gusted, making the picture frame beside the window collapsed, that was our first photo together. Again, I exploded in agony, and I could barely breathe.

Before, Friday nights were special, but things gone wrong tonight. My heavy eyelids gaze upon the dark corner of my room filled with sorrow and betrayal. And with that, I fell asleep with a great tribulation. I could feel the soreness of my heart.

“Gooooooooood morning, my beautiful daughter!” my mom’s voice echoed throughout my room. Here we are again. I should prepare myself for her so long speech later.

“Today’s Monday, you’ll be late again in your work,” and she pulled my heavy blanket.

“Don’t start you week be…” I stood up, placing an earphone into my ears. I didn’t let her finish her so called word of wisdoms because I could barely memorize it, and today’s morning was not a good morning.

“Sorry mom, not now,” I ran my eyes around my room, everything were well-organized, no trail of heartbreak, but there’s one missing, the picture frame beside the window. Oh, come on. I already dumped that thing four years ago.

At the jeep, I was staring preoccupied on the people’s faces at the sidewalk, remembering my terrible dream last night. Apparently and unfortunately, that dream happened four years ago when I and my ever first ex-boyfriend broke up. It’d been four years, but it still haunts me. It seemed like it just happened yesterday’s night.

I was mesmerized when I saw a familiar guy, my brother. Let me guess, you thought it was him. Impossible, they already migrated in Canada. My brother waved, and I stuck my tongue out. He mouthed goodbye and disappeared.

The jeep moved forward a meter away, I would be definitely late again. Traffic sucks.

I was fascinated with the structure of the building when someone went out in the building. It was him without a doubt, that face I missed so much. My heart palpitated when he saw me. My lovely eyes were glued on him and his also to mine. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. I was fuelled with hope, hoping that maybe this time we could be together.

I knew you’re wondering how we met and why we got separated. Our story begun with a clock, that’s why you couldn’t find a single clock or watch in my room even in my bag. I didn’t like seeing those, it made me bitter and remember our memories.

We were not close before, he was a famous vocalist of the band and I was just an unknown girl. There was this clock project and we were partners. Thus, we became closer, and closer, and closer until we couldn’t be kept apart.

Our own made clock was extraordinary. Instead of numbers, our special memories we shared together at that exact time were placed in there, me as the hour hand and him as the long minute hand.

The 9:00 pm memory was the best of all. He surprised me with a special concert in our school, and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said “Yes” at exactly 9:00 pm. I could still remember those rose petals scattered all over the stage, the crowd with the banner, “Will you be my girlfriend?” And the best so far was his priceless teary eyed and a smile curved on his handsome face. He mumbled, “This is nerve-racking, but I managed to do it because you deserved this.” His friend took a video of the entire surprise, and he uploaded it on Facebook. It went viral, earning thousands of likes, comments and shares.

Like any other relationships out there, it was not always perfect. There were also hindrances and unluckily, the hindrance was his mother. She didn’t like me. The reason was there’s a certain girl she liked to be with his son. She did all things she could do to tear us apart, and she succeeded. I wouldn’t tell you all the details because it was catastrophic on my part, it would just dismay you.

I huffed when the jeep hoots, shoving the memories down to stop aching. I saw myself still having a staring contest to him. Four years had passed but nothing changed on him. He’s still handsome, taller and broader than before. I giggled when I wondered the thought if he had six packs abs on his chest. Could I still reach his hair to fix? Or I’m too short for him this time? Our staring contest tore apart when a lady jolted towards him. They shared a kiss, hands intertwined, but his eyes still on me.

The jeep started, and I sat properly, banishing the horrifying picture I witnessed a while ago. My little hope plummeted, and I smiled downhearted. I couldn’t believe I expected again. Maybe this time, I could officially move on and finally unleash myself from the hazy memory of the past.