Prologue Just 5 More Minutes

February 26th; New Delhi. 2018.
Late in the evening.

‘Excuse me, can I sit here?’
I had slept on the platform bench without a trace of self consciousness, untill a female voice woke me up.
           I got up animatedly. The station was heavily crowded. A train had arrived and had bought a tide of people along with itself. People fighting to get off and into the compartments. Coolies running everywhere with the luggage. Speakers making announcements. The sounds the rush, the chaos. My head hurt a little. And I had a girl standing in front of me asking for a favor.
          'Yes of course'.  I removed my bag to make space for her, looking at her face. I have to admit, it was difficult to withdraw from the gaze of her eyes.
          'Sorry to wake you up, but other benches are full already. Delhi had seen an exponential population growth in the recent past. You don’t see much empty benches on railway platforms’ she said, took off her heavy backpack and heaved it beside the bench.
She sat down on the same bench beside me, and gave out a sigh of relief.
          ‘It’s completely okay. I understand that’ I answered, still rubbing my eyes and yawning uncontrollably. The decibels were still too much for my ears to process.
         'So, you tired?' she said, after checking something on her phone, a couple of minutes later. Sneeking out of my jacket, I looked at her.
          Her hair were black and straight. Typical Indian. She was young, roughly of my age. Her waist length hair were enough to tell stories about her beauty. She managed to look pretty under the old fashioned lights of the crowded station. She was fair and was in a yellow top and blue leggings. A black half jacket completed her wardrobe which, needless to say, matched her black hair, adding to her beauty.
             'Yes, kind of. Had a tiring journey and couldn't sleep. So trying to get some' I said, my gaze down.
           'Oh. Anyway, I am Maitri Mishra' she said and extended a hand for a handshake.
          'Hi, I am uh..Mahesh Raghuvanshi' I said but didn't extend my hand. I don't know what stopped me. She dragged her hand back, surprised. Beautiful girls are not used of rejected handshakes.
          Now this was awkward. I noticed an expression of slight disappointment on her face. I guessed she might have thought how indecent I was. Or if she was intelligent, she might have guessed, that something wasn't right with me.
         'Anyway, where are you going Mahesh?'
'Um, Nowhere' I replied, struggling for a correct reply. I had to appear normal there. A fucked up face infront of a stranger is always a bad idea.
        'Nowhere? Really?' she asked. I kept quiet. 'Well, nowhere is an interesting place to go!' she said with a smile on her face, keeping a sweet tone to sugar-coat her sarcasm filled words.
        'I am tired. Can I get some sleep?' I said, acting to sleep. But my eyes were nowhere near for a sleep.
        'Okay' she shrugged her shoulders. I kept quiet too. I had realized that despite of her beauty, she was a stranger. And I had talked enough.
        'Are you really sleeping? You don't look like doing so' she asked after sometime. It appeared she had been watching me ever since I closed my eyes.
        'Yes' I said and opened my mouth a little bit, just to give an idea that i was about to snore.
        'Is everything okay?' she asked softly, again after a few minutes.
'Yes. I think so'  I said, finally getting up to sit. I could not act of sleeping anymore.
        'Think so?' she said, 'Something about you looks...' she paused to speak the right word.
        'Terrible?' I offered.
She laughed.  I looked at her, confused. Sometimes it's tough to explain what exactly women find funny. "Terrible" is a terrible word. She still laughed on that.
       'See, it's not only your problem. Boys these days are bothered either about breakups or securing jobs' she said, fluttering her eye lashes. 'Yours might be one among these'
        'Maybe you are right' I said, avoiding a conversation. Life was better on an empty bench. My mind was screwed up with incidents I wanted to forget. It had no room for any conversations.
         'Then what is your problem? Are you like, this shy with every girl?' she threw a tantrum. I kept quiet.
          'With your girl?' she giggled, poking me again.
'Enough!' I almost screamed. She drew back immidately, her face serious.
         'Hey, I didn't mean to hurt you. I am sorry if I overspoke, but can you stop being so oversensitive?'
        'I am not over sensitive. I just want some space'.
'Okay, but if you are stressed about anything, you can discuss that with me. I won't judge you' .
       'What do you want to discuss about? Neha? The girl who is dead already?' I replied, and instantly regretted my words.
         She was setting up flock of hair which were falling on her cheeks. But as soon as I mentioned death, her hands froze in her hair. In utter disbelief, she looked at me. I gulped a lump in my throat and fought back tears, as i mentioned Neha's name.
         'Did you just say... your girlfriend is dead?'
I nodded, but didn't speak a word. There was a lot happening inside me.
       A couple of minutes passed and none of us spoke a word. Another train arrived at the platform, bringing another crowd of people. She got up and placed the bag between us. She took mine too, and placed it on  the middle of the bench. I looked at her with enquiring eyes.
       'I don't want anyone else to sit here' she said.
I kept quiet. 'So you are going to her funeral?' she asked softly, after sometime.
        'I am coming from her funeral'.
'Oh, okay. Can I buy you something to eat? You appear miserable' she asked, trying to divert the topic.
       She bought two medium sized burgers from a nearby cafeteria and handed one to me. I was hungry, but i tried to eat in as polite way as possible.
       'You are a student, right?' she asked.
I was at that point of time where I was sure of nothing. My education, my identity, nothing.
        'Yes, I am'
We kept quiet for another ten minutes or so. I really wanted to thank her for the burger - It was delicious, but I remained shut. A female voice was continuosly making announcements after every  five minutes when she suddenly spoke up again. It mattered least to me, because my train was in the next morning. I had the entire night waiting in front of me.
        'Oh God! That is why I hate winters!' she frowned.
I had got lost in Neha's thoughts when her frown bought me back to life. I had to ask, 'What happened?'
        'Didn't you hear the announcement? My train, Jhelum Express is delayed by six hours!' she said. 'What would I do for six hours? I have to go to Mumbai. But given these delays, Mumbai seems like Malaysia'
        'Oh, six hours is a long wait. You can find a hotel nearby' I suggested. Atleast then I thought, I could get more space to sleep, though I didn't want her to go.
        'Let me think about it' she said. I left the decision with her and rested my neck under my hands.

                                1 hour later

I was in the same position - sitting, with my gaze down - thinking about life, creating imaginary scenes in my head as to how I could have taken better decisions in life.  The happenings on the platform mattered little to me.
         And that girl, Maitri, she was still there, sitting next to me.
         'You didn't tell me where are you going..' she spoke again, looking at me.
        By that time, I was grateful for her for feeding me. So I owed her a reply.  I took out a small pot from my bag covered with red cloth, tightly bounded by kalawas, a kind of holy thread, and showed it to her.
      'Going to Haridwar. To free Neha from this cruel world' I said, gently holding the pot, as cuddling a new born baby.
       She kept quiet, but kept looking at me, as if how cute it was of me to bid goodbye to Neha, myself.
       'And her family? Nobody came with you? Do they know?' she asked, her voice filled with curiosity.
        'They have sent me with this. They feel I loved her, more than anyone'
       'Aw!' she said, her tear glands, on their mark.
'Was she beautiful?'
I smiled. 'She was so beautiful, that even surprises get surprised' I said, proudly.
'Then why did she die?'
'It's a complicated story'
'I want to know the story'
'No, and you better find a hotel. It's getting chilly here'
          'Listen', she said, standing up and dwarfing me, 'I have been waiting for almost an hour mustering courage to ask you this question' she said.
          'And I am not going anywhere without finding out why' she added firmly.
          'Do you really think we go around telling strangers why our loved ones die?' I asked.
          'I am asking out of sympathy. I feel for her. Because the way you are carrying this ash-pot, there must be a story' she said. I looked at her. Her eyes were filled with hope.
          I let out a sigh. 'Neha is the best thing to have ever happened to me. I would love to tell about her. But the very next thought of realization, that she is not with me, would kill me. That is why I better not speak about it' I replied, my voice low.
          I took my bag and arranged the things In the usual order, to make space for the ash-pot. She got up from the bench, and bent in front of me. Looking at me, she asked, 'What do you think, are you healing?'
          'Yes'
          'Why?'
'Because I find myself looking ahead now, ready for what life throws at me'.
         'Exactly' she said, and put her hand over mine. A sudden surge of adrenaline splashed through my veins. Her hand was soft as feather, with a tinch of little warmness.
          'It's always a good idea to speak your heart out, while you still have time. We never know how much time we have got' she said, looking at me.
         She had a point. There was no point supressing those feelings inside me. Moreover, I didn't want her to go. I wanted company. A beautiful company was always appreciated.
         'Okay', I said. 'Where do I start from?'
She looked contempt. 'Start from anywhere, just cover everything'
        'I will start from the time, when my career turned upside down'.