Because when I was in kindergarten, the elementary kids would make fun of me for playing barbies. That is the first thing I remember from my childhood.
In second grade, I met my first bully. He was a boy who decided my name was not Carly. My name was "Fat Midget." Being only 7 years old, I asked my mother what midget meant... She asked me why, but I couldn't tell her. All I knew was that everyday I was kicked in class and chased on the play ground.
"Kids will be kids," and "Oh they don't know any better." are not excuses. I moved away after two years, but I continue to deal with self image problems because one family decided it was enough to believe that their kid knew what was nice and what wasn't.
I moved back when I was 13 and he was still here. On the first day he hit on me, and I felt a sort of victory... "I may have been a fat midget.. I mean I'm still chubby.. and short... BUT HE THINKS I'M CUTE SO I WIN... right?" I gave him exactly what he wanted, because I needed a self esteem boost. Was that the end of it? No, he wanted something that I am STILL not going to give him. I REFUSE to stoop low enough for self satisfaction. I WILL NOT violate myself anymore than I already have. I regret it everyday, went through depression, self harm, starvation, and I bullied.
I stay aware of my actions because that same year, a girl approached me. she looked like the girl no one would hang out with, Thomas The Train backpack, too small shirts, no makeup... I judged her and I pushed her away because an attractive girl told me "She's gross, don't touch her." About a quarter of the way into the year I gave her a hug and asked her if she wanted me to do her makeup before a choir concert.
Her eyes glistened with appreciation that night. She wanted a friend, and that's all it took. She was still the awkward girl I had met, but at the end of the year, I was the only one that cried with her when she said she'd miss me over the summer.
Your actions make a difference and you could save someone everyday. You don't need a ladder to pull them out of their hell. Sometimes all they need is a nice smile to remind them everyone's in hell... but some people are special enough to shine brighter than the flames.