Karan stared down at that faded-white paper on his table. His face was expressionless as though he wasn't reading the scribbles on it but just staring down. A cold wind gushed through the window and he shivered. Did he miss her? He took a sip of the whiskey straight through the bottle, burning his throat down. As he lay his head on the paper, a tear trickled down his spectacled eyes and fell on the paper. Lighting the dim table lamp, he started reading it again, for the hundredth time tonight. It sort of gave him the feeling of stabbing oneself in the heart, but he was used to the pain and maybe in love with it too.
Karan.
Hey. I just wanted to make sure you were fine, that's why I showed up suddenly at your place today morning. I'm sorry if I irritated you, I won't show you my face anymore.
Karan, I know I have been a nightmare and I even know there's a limit to what you can bear with me.No, I don't blame you for letting go. Its good that you did.
I would like to tell you everything honestly if this is the last time we are talking. I loved you, I love you and will always love you. Although I don't necessarily need to be around you, its hard to accept that I don't get to share my happiness, sadness, excitement, loneliness, and affection with you anymore. You Karan, yes you are the one who changed me in a way no one could. You made me question myself, my dreams, my goals, what do I want from life. You made me a better person, somebody who loves and respects herself, and I could never thank you for that. I wish I could.
You know, you were perfect, not just for me but for every girl. You were the perfect friend, the finest mentor and an absolute Romeo. You were everything I ever wanted in a guy. Its been 2 months and I haven't found a single soul I could replace you with, well its impossible. I won't say you were totally flawless. You had your flaws - you could get angry at the pettiest thing; Your glasses, oh I so hate them! You never tried to communicate things which bothered you, no matter how hard I tried - But I can say that I fell in love with your flaws too, pretty soon. They just make you, YOU. Don't ever change them for anyone.
Karan, I know whatever happened that night was wrong. Maybe you could hear me out just one time? I never typed out that message that was sent to you, I swear. I could never use those words for you, could I? Ask yourself once. Those pictures, those rumors were not true. Why didn't you ask me once? Didn't you trust me? I wanted to tell you this but I was blocked from all means of contacting you. I wish I could go back in time and would never let this happen. You hate me already, don't you?
Its heartbreaking, its painful. I wish you could embrace me in your arms, I'm cold too. I feel ashamed of myself, maybe I was wrong somewhere. Karan, I hope you find that home in a person you have always talked about, complete that novel which you have left incomplete for a while now, and maybe write something about me too? I lost someone who meant the world to me, forever. But promise me one thing, will you? Tell the next person who is as close to you that you're weak at communicating with people and so she has to put in extra efforts to handle you, and she also must know you're allergic to eggs. I don't want you to fall sick again.
Love her Karan, love her the most and I promise she will love you back equally. I really hope I could be her. But now its late, too late.
As for me, I promise to never show you my face again. Never. I hope we get to start our story all over again.
Your Love.
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Karan's eyes were swollen and red. He never saw her again, she had left him forever. He regretted, he regretted everything. But only if he could do anything now was to go where she was, and he waited for that day.