Return to a different phase.

Sometimes I wish I could rewind life and return to a different phase.
Before my grand-pappy passed those were the best of days.
He was the glue that held our family together.
With him here our family would be so much better.

See after he passed my family was torn. They didn't understand how to properly mourn.
My family was tense and then followed the stupid fucking conflict.
Without him here they were all unable to come to a verdict.
Instead of working things out my family slowly went their seperate ways.
Shit I would do anything to return to the good old days.
Whenever all this went on I was only a child.
When I was forced to stay away from my cousins that shit just seemed so wild.
As time went on and I got older,
I made a pact that I wouldn't give any of my family the cold shoulder.

Sometimes I wish I could rewind life and return to a different phase.
Particularly after graduating high school that time period I'll forever praise.
I was finally starting to learn who I truly am,
I met some really good friends and was close with my fam.

When I look back on my past,
my friends and I always had a blast. Although we we're all kinda in a haze,
due to how much we'd sit around watch cartoons and just blaze.
But this burn out will cherish those memories forever.
It sucks to think we'll never have another get together.
But that's life, people sometimes go their seperate ways.
Don't get me wrong it bothers me way more than I portray.
A few of those friendships I'll probably never be able to mend,
but I will cherish our times together till the very end.
I also wanna say to the homies that I wasn't the best companion to, that I was a god damn fool.
I can only hope that one day we can maybe be cool.
I don't have any hard feelings towards any of my old friends,
I really wish we could figure shit out and work on trying to mend.
Regardless I hope whatever y'all are doing with your life I hope you're just happy,
I know this shit kinda drug on its starting to get a little sappy.

The phase I'm in right now is just as great though.
I've done a lot of reflecting and learning that's fo-sho.
I've finally met my best friend that helps me conquer all my fears,
I've never had someone do that for me in all my years.

My boyfriend truly has shown that he cares more than anyone else had.
He met me right after I turned 18, when life was pretty fucking bad.
My mom had just abandoned me for a man and I was fixing to become homeless.
But he helped get me on my feet again, suddenly I didn't feel so hopeless.
I don't say it enough but I appreciate the shit out of him.
Before he came along life seemed so glim. I never thought I would do anything important with my life or become anyone,
but he pushed me and helped me realize there's nothing I can't overcome.
So my love, I'm excited to begin building our future together.
It'll be a lot of work but I'm confident we can storm any weather.

I'm happy with where I'm at in my life,
I truly feel so alive.
I've grown more than I ever anticipated.
After writing this I feel so fascinated.
I started off by talking about how I wanted to return to a different phase,
the more I wrote I realized I don't wanna return to that place.
It's nice to reminisce, and sometimes think back to all the good times.
But focusing on the past instead of the future is such a crime.