I couldn't put more stress to the fact that I have failed my body tremendously. I know that I was careless but I did not expect that I'd come to this state. I am too young to have this kind of predicament and I've been telling myself that I have so much things to do before I surrender. And sure, this matter won't take me down in one strike.
I was a believer of that " Survival of the Fittest Theory". I know that I have I'll overcome this battle. This was too far from life and death. I just need to find my pace to keep dancing with this stranger disease. I am telling myself that this is nothing serious though I am bit scared. Maybe I am just patronizing that fact that I am sick that's why my body is acting up weirdly. I know it's cool to be strong and healthy but maybe this is somewhat my wake up call to pay attention to my needs as a humanbeing.
Recently, I was diagnosed with some sort of internal organ problems. They are not simple that I can shrug off but they are not life threatening yet so I wouldn't need to draft my will. It's not like I'm going to the afterlife right this second. I guess I still have few more years to suffer. Which is sad because I've hoping that in case it is already my time, I wanted it to be quick. But since this is another prolonged agony, I am still keeping my hopes up.
You see, I used to be strong. I used to be a superhero. I never get tired. I never get sleepy. I never felt that hunger. I never felt sick. I was already told by my late father that my body is so fragile but I did not believe him. I told myself that this is my body and that I can absolutely take care of it. Now, I'm dealing with the consequence. I pledged guilty with the accusations of many that I overused my body. I pushed myself to the limit. And just like that, like a machine, I am shutting down.
It is sad because I still want to stay for another century if I can. But you can never tell what is going to happen the next day.
You will never know what tomorrow would bring. So might as well enjoy whatever is in front of you. You will never know if you will still have another chance to do it again. And that is what I did. It is just that, I overdo it. Now I am losing my senses.