She knew it

She wasn't listening to me.. I was continuously saying my things but she wasn't responding. "What do you want for lunch?" She asked me casually while she was ironing clothes. "I will eat whatever you want to make" I said while I was about to leave and then turned my face towards her and again to the door thinking if she would have listened this time.

When i left my home I was wondering if she had  any idea about what I want in my life rather than in my lunch. I could remember every thing when I told my mom most of my time about what I want in my life her reactions were always the same. Either she would have been working with her stuffs pretending to be busy but listening to me or she would only give me a nod with a smile on her face. When I was a child I thought her smile meant for her agreement but now I could clearly understand that she was smiling because she thinks it's so childish and I am being silly to talk like that.

I was walking alone and now blank with no thoughts it's so strange that I am not having any thoughts or any images. I want to do something that could make me happy but I also want to fulfill my mother's life with happiness and I want her agreement before doing anything and for that agreement she must have to listen me.

I returned back to my home she had already made lunch for us. "Honey, please wash your hands before lunch." "Mom!" I had make up my mind to make her listen about what I wanted and get her agreement. "Please, first go and wash your hands then we will talk" without saying more words I reached to my bathroom to wash my hands and splash my face with water. When I looked up at the mirror I felt good and fresh, my mind was again filled with too many thoughts and too many ideas but this time for the conversation.

"I want to tell you something and please listen to me."
"Yes, I am listening"
"This time listen to me carefully mom!"
"Okay, what's the matter?"she was now looking at me.
"I don't wanted to go to school anymore I want to do something new something creative and I have decided that I am going to compose music  and....."
"Ken! You are not going to leave school and if you want to compose music you can do it in your free time but you are not going to leave school for this silly music composing thing."
"But...."
"Didn't you listen to me?"
"Yes, but you are not listening to me what I am saying....."
"Okay enough we are not going to have this conversation any more." And she left.
"But mom let me finsh what's in my mind all time please." She had already left and didn't listen to me.

I was too much frustrated and upset about whatever happened then, I want her to at least let me complete my whole thing that matters to my happiness a lot but she acted like it's all her decision. Why she was not letting me handle my things? My life must have my decisions.
I didn't eat to full and left to my bedroom I wasn't thinking this time but I could recall all memories of my mom and mine where I would have discussed my things and she ignored me a tear shed from the corner of my eyes.

I woke up late at night she was making dinner and I said I don't want to eat she didn't say a word and I think she was looking at me with her "mom eyes" I was now confused about going back to my bedroom because I don't have any idea if I am able to sleep again " Ken! eat your dinner then you can do whatever you want to do." I could not find if she was talking about my music composing thing or about my confusion of going back to bedroom I didn't move from where I was standing with a sleepy and confused face I bet I was looking like a ghost. "Honey! Sit down here." She pointed towards dining table. Without saying any other word I was sitting next to my mother, she caressed my hair and said, "I was think about you all this time I did knew that you are having a very great interest in music since you were able to understand things in surrounding, but honey if you wanted to make this thing as your career that does not mean that you have to leave other good things in life like school and friends and your family. I was once a teenager and I was just like you wanted to do every thing I can do whatever comes in my mind but one thing always got struck in my kind that I wanted to become a good person sometime and soon if someone asked me about my career choice I would have always said that I want to become a good person and they would laugh at me but I never left other things in my life like schooling and other things because it's very rare for everyone to have everything now I am a good person according to me..." "You a good person mom!"
She smiled, "thanks Ken now you can see me I am having a good job and a son like you I am fully blessed by good gods." She paused and smiled again" thanks for listening me carefully honey, after your completion of school you are allowed to join some university where you can pursue your music and arts degree because if you are talented you must have that talent fully polished."
I wide grin on my face occurs naturally and I hugged my mom." But mom I couldn't get how is this story about your Teenage is related to my story" I asked innocently (like an idiot). She laugh out loud" sorry honey it's not related with your story but I just wanted you to know about my Teenage I was not getting any chance but you were listening to me very carefully so I didq told you about my story." She was laughing again and I felt like an idiot because she has already made a fun of me, but one thing I get to know that she knew what it feels to be a teenager and she is going to handle my life with her own best ways because she is the best person of my life.