SMOKED

Rushing through the back-alley streets of Shimla town, Natasha finally reached her favorite place, a cozy and unpopular bar, it was a really small hall, turned into a chill, lowkey bar/restaurant. The menu consisted of only kebabs and veg-fries, it definitely had a name, but the signboard above was badly rusted over the years and only two letters were visible, the first one an ‘S’ and the third last one a ‘K’. Most people called this place “kebab khana”, the kebabs were the reason why this tiny place was so popular, and the chef was amazing with his spices and experiments.

Natasha however was not a fan of kebabs but, the bartender Fateh, a tall and fair guy, with pretty dimples and apple-like cheek, Natasha’s best friend, both came to Shimla, together from Delhi, mainly cause, Fateh had to run away from his conservative family, who forced him to marry a girl of their choice, and he loved someone else, Natasha left Delhi with him cause, …… well she had nothing better to do. Daughter of a billionaire, she never really had to think of the future, and all she wanted to look for was love, and for some reason, she thought “pahadon me muje Pyaar mil jaega” (I will find love in the mountains), Fateh obviously had discouraged her from coming along with him, but she would not listen, so she came, became a witness in Fateh’s wedding and then started looking for love. And today she sprinted back from her 8th venture in love, a guy she was working with, she had managed to find a job as a Boutique manager using her parent’s contact and well fell in love with the designer Shiv Bhatt. Every week when he visited his store, she would start dreaming of romantic encounters; today she did have an encounter.

“Fateh! Fateh! Fateh!” she shouted at the counter, with everyone else turning to see this screaming girl, Fateh too turned and looked at her, rolled his eyes, and got her a lime soda, she took a sip and screamed again “This!, you got me this?!, I texted you I am heartbroken today, this is just lime and soda, bring me some whiskey!” Fateh added 5 ml of whiskey to it, only for her to taste it because he knew she thinks she could handle it, but she just can’t. After having a few sips, she lowered her head and sighed then started making sounds like a puppy, it was something she did, every time she was disappointed, Fateh let her take the time she needed and started serving others, one of the other staff members passed by him and whispered to his ear “ you have got a noisy friend I swear!” they laughed and finally Fateh, tried to cheer her up, he pleaded her to raise her head, look at him, she did and screamed again “You had to be gay!, why?!” he got embarrassed again, but well, this was usual frustration, with tears in her eyes she said “ He said I am like a friend” and continued bawling, Fateh patted her head and very gently asked her “ With or without benefits?”, she looked up and controlling her ears whimpered “ without”, then she looked up and vexed “ You really think I am in the mood to joke?”, Fateh and laughed and came out of the counter, hugged her dearly and conciliatorily said “Nutsy…, you are too cute, and well 8th time, similar story, I think you should start looking for guys who want the same thing as you, who are available, stop chasing people who are not bothered about relationships or future”, she pushed him and defiantly said “Well what would you know, you have a husband”, he took a deep breath told her he is getting her some ice cream to calm down and instructed others, not to offer her anymore drinks, he went out and she sat their, clearing her face, she opened her front camera and thought “I am so cute, so polite and have such a lovely name, I am not some laxmi or preeti, I am Natasha, what else are these idiot boys looking for?”. She kept her phone down and saw a gentleman standing across the counter and looking at her.

She stuttered for a second and greeted him, he greeted back, she recognized him, he was the owner, Mr. Wasim Shah, Fateh had introduced her once to him, when he newly started working there, Fateh also invested a bit at the place, he introduced the new karaoke system, but people hardly came for that, so he started bartending at the place for a while. Wasim asked her “Well are you okay?”, she nodded, and he started going away and then turned back and asked again “are you really okay?”, she looked at him, her eyes still watery and she finally she shook her head to convey a no, he came back to her and asked “so heart-broken again”, she recollected that Fateh had told her, Mr. Shah was 40 and unmarried so she immediately blurted “ How are you doing this?, this no marriage no family thing, I mean I don’t want that and the more I try the more I start to feel like I am going to end up alone, I am so scared and heartbroken too, yes in fact I feel, there is no more heart left to break, but still I am hurting……plus, you see, I have money, I will have a career if I need one, love….its the only thing I have been looking for ever since, just one man who can make me happy, and complete my life. Is it too much? I just don’t get why. And these reasons ughhh……someone breaks up because he doesn’t want kids, someone because he thinks I am aimless, the third guy, well he thought I over think a lot, well so what! if you once said, you loved me, why can’t you stick to that, and this time, oh gosh!, we flirted, we discussed thoughts on marriage, he even asked, if I am single, and then poof! I am a friend”.

Wasim listened to her rant and said “let me tell you a story”, she said she wasn’t in the mood, but he insisted and assured her it was a short one. “so here it goes” and he began.

“ Once there was a guy, let’s call him A, and he started dating this really fabulous girl let’s call her B, both were having a great time, things were really smooth for the first year where they felt like they were perfect for each other. They had already started completing each other’s sentences and knew every single habit of one another. Things were at their best. However, after a couple of months, A started feeling very conflicted, he was not sure of so many things, and he dint know what he was doing in his life, he was sitting in a café, with a cup of black coffee, and a pack of cigarettes thinking, how meagre he was for her, she was so independent, bold and charismatic just like the black coffee she liked so much, and he was like a cigarette, giving momentary pleasures, but of no real significance, she was going to have a great future and he was still struggling to figure out what he had to do with himself and his life. He took his pack and went outside, lit one, and made a puff, when the white, stinky smoke rose towards the sky, fading the vision of twinkling stars, he thought this is how he is, a smoke that eventually turns into nothing, he felt, his charm will soon fade for her and she will realize, that his absence won’t make a difference. He took another drag and heard her calling him out from a distance, she was rushing through the street, and they went in together, she had the black coffee he had ordered for her. After that, they went for a walk around the corner, and B pointed out this old rusted store, she said “ Well I want to have my own store one day, I don’t know what I will sell, but you know, I am tired of marketing other’s products, I want to be an owner myself one day” he came close and kissed her, and assured her that she will be bigger than just a store owner, she was much more capable. She smiled.

And after a year, like A had anticipated B broke up with him and left, achieved so much more and well, A started his own journey, reached where he had to be and both are doing well.”

Natasha was perplexed she argumentatively said “ And you told this really, depressing story to a really depressed person cause……? There better be a point. I mean “

He smiled and said “ Yes of course and the point is, it’s not that a couple has to make each other happy, you don’t need love to make you happy and complete you, cause if it is based on that, then the relation already has an expiration period, once the needs are fulfilled the happiness is exhausted and they stop putting efforts, just like the smoke of a cigarette, it will fade into nothing. In short darling, the goal isn’t, making each other happy, it is being happy together. Effortless and simple. No negotiations no confusion and well stop chasing fulfilment, start looking for a companion understand him and be understood, you will find love anywhere, on a hill station or in a dessert”

She was stunned by what she had heard, it did make some sense, in fact, yes, she needs to be happy for and with someone, just like Fateh and his husband, so chill and comfy together. She noticed Fateh, approaching with ice cream packets in his hands and smiled.

Wasim brought her a napkin to clean her remaining mascara, around the eyes, she asked him “Hii, what’s the actual name of this place, only two letters are visible on the board”

He replied, “It’s smoked!”.

She looked at him and asked again “Why didn’t you marry anyone?”, He looked at her dearly and said, “Because she smoked me, and I am out of love now.”

She sat there, looking at him leave the counter and move towards the kebab counter, she had to process this with Fateh later but for now, she needed some soft music and ice cream. They started the karaoke, and the heartbreak party began.

                                                                                          -Payoja Mohanty