In the pasr two years. I have been wondering "What is society?". And somethings happen when I ask myself that Question.
I remember I was watching a movie or a series that I couldn't remember, but I can recall it's about a gay person who is about to die after a few months or years. He knew that he will never get a chance to see his own funeral, so he faked his death and watch his own funeral to happen. You might think that what is the connection? I don't know. Just like now, I don't know on how am I supposed to express myself through words? That I couldn't find.
Knowing or learning more about society makes me sick.
Kardashians (is that the right spelling?) Had a good body figure, specially Kim and Kylie. I always say that I think they go under the knife (allegedly) cause that is what the internet tells about them. I told myself, they are Beautiful without the good butt or boobs. Why do people follow the trend standard beauty? When they can really define their own beauty? Beauty does not define you, because you can define beauty on your own. But seeing there old photos without something on there faces, they are beautiful, but make themselves more beautiful?
Plastic surgery in South Korea is really insane, some research says that South Korean parents give a plastic surgery as a graduation gift for their child? And also say that they manipulate their child that having this and that kind of face is beautiful. In Gangnam (I think coz I don't really remember) there are 300 plastic surgeons doctors. In South Korea, having NO double eyelids is ugly. In my country having no double eyelids and having a China kind of eye or small eye is cute? Why am I asking myself, about the beauty standard in Korea knowing that I don't live there and never set a foot on there. But! It still troubles me, I remember when I was in 5th Grade, I watch a korean drama, without knowing the real context, I just focus on the faces of actors. They are too perfect, their faces and height even weight looks perfect. And now that I am about to lurk into college, I watch a Korean Drama this time, I wanted to focus on the story. But the story sucks but the actors looks good and I know the story line is kinda out of my standard, I still watch it. Why? Because of the Actors. Am I watching for me to see the actors face or the story? I guess the story but the faces distract me?
In every country and culture. They have their own definition of "BEAUTY" we must respect it.
In this article or what.
I am defining beauty and while I am writting I keep telling myself I am beautiful no matter what. But these days, I am losing hope and belief that I am beautiful. I know I say that: You define beauty. But in todays society I am not beautiful coz I am childish. Who is other 18 year old person, who will install youtube kids on his phone to watch spongebob squarepants? It was me. I am insecure that why does I am not beautiful and others are beautiful? Why can't I wear the clothes that I want? Living in our Country is very suffocating for a person like me.