Solace between his lips

I didn't tell you I'm not going to talk to you,
Since I wanted you to ask me "What's wrong?"
I didn't tell you I'm not going to text you,
Since I wanted you to miss me

I didn't tell you I gave up on you,
Since I wanted you to chase me
I didn't tell you, you'll be losing me,
Cause you didn't even care finding me

And now..

You're telling me I'm selfish..

Let me ask you?

When was the last time?
I went to bed without tears running to my face?
Without fear of losing you?
Or without fear of being not enough?

Say it, say it now.

When was the last time I walk with confidence?

Without being triggered by my insecurities?

When was the last time you saw me smiling purely?

When was the last time I did not pretend that I'm happy?

Say it, say it now.

I'm not selfish.

I'm a giver.
I gave you my innocent heart heartily without even thinking I might get wounded or worst shattered to pieces.
I gave you my time, without noticing how much time I would spend or waste on you.
I gave you my everything.
I gave you my whole life without even noticing that it will change me.

Yes,
You changed me.
You put tears to my eyes,
You made me a sad person,
You gave me depression
And you let anxiety build in my mind.

And now..

Say it!

Am I selfish?

I did love you.
Yes, I do.
A lot of times, I tried to stop loving you.
A lot of times, I stop communicating you.
A lot of times, I slapped my face to stop this insanity of you.
A lot of times, I kept understanding you.

But it's me.
Who keeps coming back to you.

And now,

I'm letting you go.

And please let me go.

I have loved you with all my heart and soul.
I have loved you more than I can.
I have loved you even if you are my beautiful nightmare.
I have loved you even if you are my sweet agony.
I have loved you tremendously.
And I have loved you as deeper as the pain you gave my heart.

Now,

I will ask you again.

Am I selfish?

Say it, say it now.