Stardust

The Local market- affectionately known to the locals as the Lower Bazaar

He wiped a drop of sweat from his brow while trying to hold to Pop's hand. It wasn't Claustrophobia which he'd fake in class. The bazaar streets brimmed with people. People short and people fat thronged past each other, colliding, swearing, pushing. He held on the hand gripping it tighter among overwhelming crowds.

"You're alright na ? Pop, why the hell did we have to come here on a Sunday at this time !

Excuse us.

You're okay right

Uhhh

Excuse us!"

The cool breeze helped but couldn't nullify the extremely hot gushes of anxiety he felt within.
The helplessness of watching somebody you love, being utterly helpless is painful.
He would fight the world for him
But for how long? Pops was an old man.
Will his love be ever enough to keep the inevitable at bay?
A hard push on his shoulder brought him back to reality.
Ah! The sweet aroma of the old Bazaar !The luscious sight of sweetmeats, the pungency of spice mixes .He held Pops hand- his old lovely hand, calloused with years of hard work but not at all softened by all the good he has done in his life. His hand with rippling wrinkles and sagged skin.  

" Here son, right here. You wait here okay ? I have some business upstairs. I won't be long."

"All right Pops".

Nuts saw his dear old grandfather hobble up a dirty,narrow set of stairs.

 For what heaven forsaken reason had he come here ?

Ten long agonizing minutes had passed. Nuts was trying to retain his calm but was getting restless. He walked upto the staircase and considered ascending them. Just as he was about to act on his consideration, he saw Pop descending downstairs.

" Aah here nuts! There you are. I told you I won't take long."

Nuts breathed a sigh of relief, silently. He never wanted Pop to know that he worried about him. The kind of person Pop was, he would only think that he was the cause of trouble to his dear grandson. Which he was, Nuts would admit to himself but won't reveal to anybody. For he was also, after all his best friend.

Both the men climbed down the stairs and mingled into the crowd again.

" So what was it Pops? What was so important that we had to come here ?"

"Oh no nothing nuts, just an election for this old club I am a part of. It was important to cast my vote here plus I wanted you to taste something special ."

"Special ? "

"Oh very special indeed! This man; here come along this way. Yaa, get going lazy fellow. Yaa, yess, ummm; what was I talking about ? Aah this man makes the best jalebees on the planet son! Me and Das used to come here after office everyday here to involve ourselves in this little indulgence. Your grandma used to love it too. Every time I messed up something I would buy her some, and she would always melt. Poor man is really old now, only works on Sundays. His son runs the stall on other days. Not the same charm but. That guy has magic in his hands. You'll taste and you'll know. See here we are; it’s a little way downhill. You stay here okay ? I'll go grab some delicious jalebees."

"Pops I'll go and get them, you stay here."

" Oh no no, you won't be able to identify the right man. There are two- three vendors there. I'll get it in a minute. Just stay here okay?"

"Okay I'll come along with you then. "

" No, stay here kid, your Pops doesn't always need an escort everywhere he goes stay here."

" Pops, grow up now, hey; wait Pops . Wait !"

Nuts couldn't do much but give in to his childlike grandfather's wishes. He would scold him when he's back but for now he was interested in those jalebees.

He waited for some time near the entrance of that lane while his senses were at a constant battle. His vision constantly conflicted his olfactory receptors. He would feel cold but sweat like he was bearing the midsummer heat. He would smell oranges but see apples. As he tried to make sense out of this grand old bazaar he saw Pop approaching him, a newspaper packet in one hand.
He struggled to sneak a glance at him through the terribly thick crowds. He saw only glimpses of him. Glimpses of a hero, his hero. A man whose life had been marked with hardships but whose visage only showed those adorable laugh lines. Nuts could see that he was a little nervous despite his big broad smile. He couldn't negotiate so many people through narrow lanes as efficiently as he could do once. That time which was so long ago, that he'd even reminisce about it in hues of yellow. When he would proudly carry his grandson on his strong shoulders across the bazaar and buy him nuts- cashews and pistachios and then stand at the counter and fake having no money. The shopkeeper knew the trick and would always play along and demand money- his horrible acting skills would never ruin the prank. Mostly till Nuts turned seven and would walk away unimpressed.

IGMC Hospital Special Ward Room -506

"Pops I told you!”

" Yaa alright, you did I am sorry nuts. I am so sorry you had to miss out on those amazing Jalebees."

"Pops."

"Yaa, I am sorry. I know son I trouble you much at times, but you're the only one I can bother. "

"Grandpa it’s okay! Now stop talking like that. "

Pops frowned.

Every time he would try to start this conversation, Nuts would shut it off. He wanted Nuts to know it all. He had narrated the entire story to him countless times; Nuts had always obediently heard him speak but had never really listened to him. He did not want to hear about the past, the story about why his mother won't acknowledge her own father, about why his divorced parents were in the favour of him staying with Pops. He was twelve when his parents had separated. His custody was given to his mother. Her mother was a busy woman, she would rarely spend quality time with her, so when Nuts grandfather asked his estranged daughter to let his beloved grandson stay with him, she accepted the offer. Nuts was delighted. He had always been great friends with Pops. When his parents couldn't spare enough time for him, Pops would love him to bits, make him feel special in every way possible. The night sky always fascinated Nuts from a young age. Growing up, he lost his heart to Astronomy. Since childhood Pops would tell him facts about the celestial objects above. One of them particularly captured young Nuts attention. He would tell him that they are all made up of star dust. He would go on to tell him about the Big Bang and how it meant we are all made up of stardust. All so special.

It was time for Pops to start his story again. Hoping this time Nuts would pay attention. Nuts, aware of Pop's intentions sat on a stool right next to his bed and stared into the space beneath the bed.

Pops was unsure of his approval, for he seemed tired and agitated, but decided to go on nonetheless.

" I am afraid to think of tomorrow. I don't won't to bother with the future."

His eyes gazed deep into him, all of him wanting to memorize rather celebrate every fibre of his little Nut's being.

"I asked your mother and father to get married.

I knew they wanted too, they just wouldn't say it. Your father was my responsibility. Those wicked relatives of his would eat him up, devour all his property. I never knew your father would later think all this was a plot for me and my daughter to seize his share of the business.

I am a hard working man nuts, I had never eyed a single penny of his or his father's.

Dear old Das, what a gem was he!

We'd done it all together son. We started from nothing. Small town boys with some only the clothes on their back and the bag on their shoulders. We didn't have great financial support just a few notes in our pockets each.

But we made it dear; we made it against all the odds. I never thought I'd ever see a dip in my life after that point. I thought I had already been through the hardest part. I was wrong nuts. Your mother blames me too and I guess she's right.

She was in love, yes; mad, young, naive, love. But I should have known better. Oh how could I?

I should have thought more.

Should have seen the repercussions of my actions.

I have been an irresponsible father nuts, I have failed as a friend I don't know if I have been a decent human being. But to you I wanted to be the best grandpa!

You've had a troubled childhood

and I am the reason

you had to bear spectacle to all those fights, those ugly tantrums, those sour insults.

I am sorry son.”

"Grandpa! All that's past. Mum and Dad; aah , forget it. Why do we have to talk about them always. Come on Pop you're too cool for them ! Trust me. "

That was Nuts. He would always use humour to lighten up such situations. Pops knew that he hadn't been listening carefully this time either. He did not point that out though, he was cured of his sudden urge to talk. He let out a small laugh and said,"Oh you ridiculous boy, I have always faltered in taking your flattery as compliments. Go out now. Grab yourself some coffee and let this old man take some rest".

A winter evening - The Mall Road

It was a cold Saturday evening but that surely had not put off the crowds. The streets were just as crowded as they would be on pleasant summer evenings. Pops and Nuts walked together slowly clad in heavy winter clothes. Two street vendors sat nearby and engaged in small talk. One sold roasted ground nuts, the other hoped to make a living off boiled eggs.

An ice cream cone in one hand, Pops pastry in another ; Nuts stood near a bench. Pops sat on the bench, trying to catch his breath. An icy wind blew and made Pops shiver. He got up from the bench and bent over to tie his shoelace. Nuts offered to help but Pops could manage this himself.

Very few days were left now. Soon Nuts would have to leave for college and Pops would be alone.

The worry of leaving Pops alone had been eating Nuts up. He was delighted to have been able to get in his dream college. He had applied to loads of them. His mother had been overjoyed at the news. She was happy for the fact that Nuts had been able to get an admission to a very well reputed college but there were other reasons for her happiness. She was happy that now she would be able to finally cut all ties between her and her father. She could now have Nuts live elsewhere and not take a favour from her father any more. At such times she would miss her mother, terribly. Had she been alive a little longer she would never have agreed to her foolish request of getting married to that man. Never. She had expressed her dissent on the matter but her father had acted otherwise after her wise mother had passed away. She knew her father was a nice man, but she somehow could never forgive him for ruining her life. She did not want to make up with him would send the wrong signal to her ex husband. He would assume he had been right the whole time. That father and daughter did scheme up. She knew her husband would never even for a moment consider that her father was innocent. So it was best to separate herself from the guilty party, the man who she knew was not guilty.

The thoughts in Nuts mind filled him up with anxiety. He was afraid about Pop's well being but he would reluctantly admit to himself how sad and vulnerable he felt within. Pops celebrated him, made him feel so special. He had just bought him a telescope. The best model for amateurs. The one he had wanted for a long time. Nuts couldn't believe his eyes when the telescope was actually delivered home. At first he thought it may be a present from his mother for getting into college. He had later admonished himself for not guessing the obvious. It was Pops who knew his desires and aspirations the best. How would he manage being away from him now?

He began thinking about what happened in the afternoon to help himself digress from this trail of thought.

Earlier that day Pop had been responsible for quite an embarrassment to Nuts. He made a mental note of being sure to keep his food fantasies to himself in future.

Despite the winter season, the blazing sun of the afternoon can cause some discomfort, so Nuts was in search for some place to sit in shade. Hungry would be an understatement for Nuts was famished. Just then Pop came to the rescue and said, "Hey Buddy, let's go eat something at that new bakery?, Shall we?".
"Yaa Pop, I am hungry but I want to sit some place too, let’s go somewhere....... Pop!".
Pop didn't let him complete his sentence and hurried his way to the new little bakery and said something at the counter. Nuts followed him, unsure of what he was up to now.
"Hey son! Here can you let us two in huh ? This poor fellow, my grandson is a little tired. You won't mind if we make ourselves comfortable eh ?"
"Pops ! what no I am not coming inside, it says employees only !"
As Pops tried to mute Nut's protests the man at the counter spoke up-"I am afraid sir I cannot let you in. I can.........".
" Come on son! How do you plan on doing your job huh ? Your boss will be really upset if you'll treat family like this."
" Sir, I don't understand...."
" Son, I own this place- this belongs to my Son. This little fellow here is your boss's nephew. You're new here right? Aaaah yes yes. Relatively new. How would you recognize me. Just that you know your boss, won't listen a thing. He just gets mad at employees for no reason. It can get pretty difficult to calm him down then you know."
"Oh I am so sorry sir, I didn't... I am sorry. Please do come inside sir. What can I bring for you. Here sir, I'll take your umbrella, you could leave your coat there, yes. Please make yourselves comfortable. What would you like ? Ayeee boy take sir's order. Umm sir I hope you won't mention my little mistake. I mean.... yes yes. Thank you sir, that's very kind of you."

Nuts let out a giggle. It was an act of love, of innocence but he better not allow another one of those.

The smoke of roasting ground nuts blended in the chilly mountain air. It was freezing now and Nuts was light on clothes but he didn't mind the chill. He wanted as much of it as he could bear. This cold would remind him of this time, it would keep him going, and it would infuse warmth into his life.

The entire city plotted to give Nuts a moment of beauty and blacked out. It was pitch dark, perfect to gaze the night sky. As people hooted and ran , while other shouted and frisked their pockets for their phones two people stood completely still. Pops and Nuts, grandfather and grandson, two best friends looked up and stared into heaven.