Still You

I couldn't count the days wherein all I ever did was stare at your face. When you weren't looking and your face seemed to appear bright, almost similar to the first time the universe decided to let our worlds intersect. Magical and all captivatingly astonishing, it was when I first had you.

I couldn't count all the good old reminiscence earned during nightfalls. When every thing we did was sit and laugh whilst we go through eccentric conversations that only us in the world could understand. And the comforting feeling when I rest my head onto your shoulder as we cast our gaze to the night sky that falls, that perfectly reminds me of the best feeling the world can offer: The sentient of being in love and being loved by you.

Yet I couldn't count the cold bad nights that came in between. All the arguments left unsolved and so the messages that remain unreplied. The affliction that began to painfully dwells within and how we just let it flew with silence. Even the blood and tears I've shed and the image of love that for the years we've painted slowly vanished over time. Until the day I most dreaded to come has transpired, you left.

I couldn't count the days of grief and despair. The nights wherein I just sat still whilst the tears came streaming down my face and the empty bottles were rested at the top of the table. The days wherein all I ever did was hurt myself physically in attempt to put an halt to the agony that was slowly killing me in the inside. Yet the next minute, the pain still haunts me and my heart still aches for one: you.

I couldn't count the days where I resisted the urge not to run and hug you. To fill the unbridgeable distance between us and to stop the clock from tickling and replay those sweet old images of pure felicity to gravitate you back to me. But if the universe wouldn't let me, could I just at least for once embrace you?

Yet I couldn't count the days where I tried to wipe out every single memory of you in my heart. The number of bottles of alcohol I've filled in my body in hopes to reach the part of my heart where you belong so like waves you'd completely flow out of my system. But each morning I fail, for sadness wakes me up all over again with nothing in my mind but you.

Thus I would never forget the days and nights I pray for every thing to end. The number of nights I screamed in torment and threw off glasses and broke mirrors wishing there was you to save. But althroughout the night, no one came for saving, not even you.

And even right until this moment of nightfall where I'm looking up into the starless sky as I try to bury every trace of memory I have in you, and no matter how much I try to set aside the little sweet sentiments we had and burn your pictures down and drown myself with liquor every night, and even if I could possibly count all the days and nights gone and spent over the years I had with and without you, suffice to say, my heart still echoes for the same person.

It's still you.