In a Relationship with her soul

                                In a Relationship with her soul

OHhhhh.. its 11:30 pm, I think, I should stop my work and leave the remaining part for tomorrow as now it’s time to sleep and I moved towards my bed. But I was not feeling sleepy at all...My phone was also stolen....hahaha. I was thinking what to do...what to do...what to do... :-/

Suddenly I thought of roaming on twitter..

But there also was no excitement as all BJP followers were asleep. But suddenly I saw my Twitter inbox and there was a message from my friend whom I had followed on twitter in the morning. The message was “Thanks for following me Ayush gupta ”

To this my reaction was girls also send messages on following them as before this I used to get messages from political people only. I was in utter dilemma.

I checked the notification and I saw that she had also followed me, now I too got a chance to reply her back. 

And I wrote “Thanks for following me smita ”

Again I got a message from Smita and I was like “What the hell is this? Is there any difference between Twitter and Whatsapp?” But I thought, let’s talk and let the time pass.

She- how are u?

Me - I am fine, what about you?

She- m good n how is your model?

In my mind I thought, “Why didn’t u died before asking this thing” but I composed myself and replied:

Me- I hope she’s good, by the way we broke up 35 days back.

She-hawwwww..... What happened? As far as I know you, you must have gone mad?

Me- No it’s not like that....We broke up (according to her & people) but m still in relationship.

She- Still in relationship??? With whom?

Me- With her soul 

She- with her soul??? Are you mad??? Weed pee rakhi hai kya tune??

As I listened this, the philosopher inside me woke up, as these days I have developed keen interest in spirituality, power of thoughts & law of Karma.

And then I started my philosophy,

Listen The thing is, It doesn’t matters for me either she is with me or not, now I only want to feel her existence in me and I can do that easily without meeting her or talking to her. Thinking about the goodness of her gives me joy and I swallow the spirit that she is only mine. No one can take my place in her life and same for me.

She exists in my thoughts, my mind, and every time, my dreams correlates with her. Now all I want is to feel her love for me and my love for her, It doesn’t requires her physical presence because I am in relationship with her feeling/her happiness/her sadness/her smile and not with her body. And simply I am in relationship with her soul. I said her soul is not separate from her. It is healthy to feel deeply and I gave myself permission to experience the richness of human emotion. I feel her sadness, her love as her physical perception doesn’t matters for me.

Since last few days, I’m living in the world of dreams/spirituality and in my world she is my soul mate at every point of time. Now I can feel her unconditional love, care, smile, stupidity.  <3.

A person came to me and said “Man don’t think about her now she has changed and she did wrong with you”.

I asked that person what wrong she has done with me???

The Person said:-

“She left you in your bad time without any reason and she cheated on you”.

I replied “It was just a trailer for me; she did the things which I was doing from 5th December 2011 with her. And my mind never ever thought that she did wrong, but my mind says every time “Ayush you got a new born. She shows you the path of your life which you have forgotten she did it because she wants you to focus on your dream. ”

The connection which I have with her is a pure connection in between our souls. I know according to the world she has a new relationship. But my heart says every time that you cannot hide three things for long time

- The Sun

- The Moon

- The Truth

And this third point every time works for me as a catalyst and as you all know that belief keeps you moving forward, because I know what the truth is.. 

And it reminded me the words of one of my friend Shivai who always use to say “If you really want to live your life, then you should always remember that, we all are live in the same universe and we all are connected to each other.” He taught me “Ayush If you really love her then, let her go into the illusion of separation as our souls in all the way are connected to each other and you could feel the existence of each of the person you want to feel.

I realised that every word he told me was true.

Yes I can feel her touch, her care, feeling and everything for me ;)

I am enjoying my life fullest without any expectation, now I never expect a single word of love from her. Instead of expecting I’m enjoying her absence. If I truly love her then I should never expect of being loved back. Hope is only things by which one can achieve the destiny, and the positive hope results into the positive results. I realised things which I thought were separated from me are actually well connected to me.

Although her unpredictable decision hurts me a lot, I was completely broken at that time then I developed a faith in me that nothing is permanent in this world not even our pain. Some people came to me and said she has changed or she was fake to you.

I said to every of them one thing a person can fake to you for a maximum time of 3-4 months not for the 3-4 years. 

All that we both are today is the result of what we have thought. And our mind is the most powerful thing in the world, what we think we become!!

For developing this thought and the releasing the illusion of separation takes me 3 days. It’s not easy to let all of attachment go & forget but I succeeded in opening my 7th chakra (Energy point) with the help of meditation.

I was very depressed at the time we had broke up and every time I asked the same question to a friend of her who knows the whole story, and she every time told me one thing “Ayush just calm down be relax and I’m sure you will get the answer of all your question”. Now I realised she was right at that time.

I wanted to win this game 1 month back and I did everything which a person could do. But things remained unchanged and became more difficult. Then I thought it’s not about winning or losing, it’s all about earning. You cannot win the game of love but you only have one way and you should follow that way only ‘The way of earning love & respect’.she always told me a line Ayush All I Except is love & respect.

I realised that I can’t force her to be with me but what I could do is to train myself to overcome this condition and should focus on that way only to solve the puzzle of myself and should let go the fear of losing in order to live my life with zest. The whole secret of existence is to have no fear of separation. It’s just an illusion.

If you really love a thing from your feeling then don’t be worry about that, that thing will be yours later or sooner. I never get threat of any other person because I know there is only one person that exists in between me and her, and that one person is no one. My mindset is just a fake belief and never believes in those fake stories. Just kick those stories hard and don’t worry. I tried to move on but I can’t and I don’t want to, because my heart knows the thing which I really want, it always put my mind into the thought of that thing. Now I don’t need her physically, to enjoy with me, to gossip with me, to care for me because I have her soul with me always to do these things   All wrong doing arises cause of mind if mind is transformed and it doesn’t believe in the fake stories then how can wrong doing remain in the world???

By asking this question i gave a chance to smita so she could stop me. And finally she stopped me and said:-

“Are alive now? Or m I talking to your soul? What have you become now... seriously, Love is a very dangerous game”

Then I started laughing...

And she told me not to sleep and keep chatting because she’s feeling scared and said, “Now I am feeling a bit scared of you”

I didn’t stopped laughing for next 10 minutes and then we guys went back to normal state of mind.

Next morning I received a text from her “What a person you are, I thought about this and all I want to say is Hats off to you man”.... 

Someone told me that your happiness does not decrease by sharing, so I thought to share this a small part of my story with you all, and many more are about to come  