Stupid

I'm trapped.
I can't escape.

I miss you, even after all this time.
I still want you.

Tonight, I lay and think about you while tears accompany me.

I dip my head in my pillow who listen to my silent plea.

I hug and cover my body with my blanket who comforts me while my body shakes.

Gripping the sides of my bed cause I can't let them know I am hurting .

I need to be quiet.

My head spins and hurts too much cause I think too much.

My heartbeat barely felt.

My eyes barely see.

My lungs barely filled with air.

I feel weak.

Blurry.

Suffocated.

And I lay and stare at my ceiling, painting your face in my mind.

Hurting cause I know you I don't even pass by in your mind for a second.

You live it up while I'm off to sleep.

Drowning into the pit of darkness where no one waits.

Caged in a cell with no windows.

Blind.

Darkness.

I shout without a voice, I murmur my prayer, I cry behind closed doors, I whisper my wishes.

I need to stop, but I can't.

I need to let go, but somehow I still hold on.

I need to walk away, but I couldn't move.

It drags me back .
It doesn't let me take a step forward.

Its hard.
It hurts too.

I can't hold it any longer.

Do you feel me?

Can anyone hear me?