Sudden thoughts of Rejection

"What if he rejects you?"

My mind asks me at 3:44am because I'm having a hard time sleeping.

I come to think of  it, what do I really feel? what will I say if it really did happen?

I wrote my truth.

" I don't mind, right from the start I knew all we'll ever be are friends.
I chose to love him, I wake up everyday knowing that I could give this person the purest love I could give.
He never asked me to wait, I just wanted to.

That love is what kept me going, that I wanted to grow as a person, to be more than what I could be, it made me happy that he smiles.
It's something unconditional, understanding and freeing.
I don't want this love to take away what makes him happy, I don't want it to be a hindrance to what he desires.

I want it just here with me, supporting him and expressing it in any way I know.
I'm lucky that he had let me love him, I'll do everything to keep him even if it meant not reciprocating my feelings.
Wanting him is enough, after all he was a close friend. "

My vision went blurry as it left traces of tears on the pillowcase, I have to sleep.