It's Sunday morning. Truly a sunny day. Waking up sick and late, I strove to gather my strength to open the heavy eyes. It was time for scholarship searching again. Sometimes I wondered why scholarships have become my world, a burdening world perhaps. Bachelor scholarship is a sight for sore eyes, but that sight is rare, like one in a million. Sifting through tons of conferences, students exchange programs, and competitions, they all felt so gigantic for a small girl like me. I have a dream to change Vietnam education, but these competitions make my dream feel like so insignificant when compared. In this world, you are not expected to be run-of-the-mill: leadership sells you at the best price.
My wander across the pool suddenly ground to a halt. Not again. My short-tempered father was trying to destroy stuff as he usually did in my childhood. It was just that recently I have not seen him flying into a rage. Whatever, if he could have money to rebuy it, let him be. Adult life is too intricate. These kinds of contract ruin his Sunday mood. Casting my mind back to childhood, I can still vividly remember his crashing the glass on the floor with pieces scattering on the floor. Strangely enough, it was the only memory I can relive fully, but it also made me become nonchalant to his antagonism. I just carried on with my stuff and be careful to make his blood boil no more. Somehow I cannot get close to him. People like him, my grandma likes him, somehow he's the father of the year. Yet there is this distance so much so that I have to disguise all my discomfort, leaving the coughing to my own, in elsewhere, without his presence. Seems to me he is about to annihilate the printing machine, poor thing.
Well, carry on with my typical Sunday morning. I went down to the kitchen to find something to eat alone. Finally something more peaceful, birds chirping together with my favorite love songs. I stepped back from the moment to immerse in the beautiful melody before my brother came. He has grown strange these days. He used to be a 'mad' guy trying to make fun of himself all the time, but suddenly he has turned into this solemn creature that I did not even know who that was. Usually, when I did something wrong, the guy would turn on his cold mode. However, to the best of my recollection, I have been pretty powerless these days and have not been pissing him off at all. I wonder if all these blazé attitudes we have we earn from our father.
My lovely rainbow (my crush) did show some sign of care and consideration for me last weeks, yet he went back to his old ignorant self last night. I was despondent because I have been waiting one week to talk to him. I don't know where this story would go but at least I believe in the light at the end of the tunnel. And I hope I would be a better parent than my father or else I'd rather not have children at all, for I don't want them to feel occasionally alienated in their own home.