Tangled brains to bones

'This one is worse', another drag and I look at the cigarette. 'Never again smoking for smoking.' 

Only I wish.

Another day of mindless passivity. The days are warm and sun shines gold. This moment of sweating is a source of hormonal excitement to me, multiplied by the secrecy of smoking inside the washroom. Out of shower and wrapped in a towel, I can feel me poisoning and burning myself.

I knows it too, as I infered from Eliot, death is the ultimate escape. But ain't an easy one. Self-destruction is another half of human psyche.

Well what can be better than depopulating our planet!

I have dreams, big ones for that matter. Set the country right, be the next Elon Musk, work around wearing hot formals in sexy high heels. Since we are already in the topic, I am not quite that tall! 

I thought, maturity is when I am able to fend for myself. Later I came across this  podcast which said maturity is the realisation that the rest of the creation is a little relieved in letting you go  and that you are making way for someone else. This blew me away. Definitly from a wise man.

The purpose here is to further understand my confused state of mind!