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Illustration by @luciesalgado

The 3 a.m. version of me.

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I sit in the dark with the bright light from my phone screen dimming my eyes. 

Should I text him, or should I not?

I battled with my own thoughts for an hour. The neglected cup of coffee was cold by now. I typed out a text, deleted it, retyped again, deleted again.

I took a sip of the cold, black coffee. It had been six months since we last talked. It had to end. Things had changed. He had changed. I had changed. This wasn't what we had planned on.

We were inseparable, our love was strong and we had promised to stick together no matter what turn the situations took. But do things always happen as we want them to? No.

We separated. We parted ways. We moved on towards something better. And today at 3 a.m., do I miss him? Yes.

I wanted to ask him if he was fine, if he was happy, if he had moved on, and if he missed me too, at 3 a.m?

But I feared. Feared what?

I feared being vulnerable to him again, of being weak to his sugar-coated words, of letting him break my walls again, of trusting his pretense, of loving him. I feared him.

Why did I let him go? Were my inner demons stronger than my feelings, because I anticipated him, because my feelings had faded for him? No. Because he wanted to leave. 

I remembered arguing with him at the pettiest thing. I remembered talking to him on endless topics. I remembered walking by him till our legs hurt, and laughing till our tummies ached. I remembered everything. This 3 am made memories even more vivid.

I take a sip of the coffee, as a text pops up. Stranger?

We start with a normal "Hi. Can we talk?" and end with confessing secrets, sharing problems and driving away the loneliness of the 3 am.

As the night ends and the dawn breaks, the turmoil inside me calms down. I try to fall asleep. The typed text remained unsent, saved in the draft with innumerable others. 



149 Launchers recommend this story
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launchora_imgsaumya mishra
2 weeks ago
hey!!u write really well...good to read u
launchora_imgAbieser Paulo
4 weeks ago
What the. I so heart this miss. you have a great writing skills. keep it up!
launchora_imgChumki Sen Gupta
6 weeks ago
completely relatable!!😊👍
launchora_imgLeechi
6 weeks ago
Love is something where you have to give more than you get .. no matter what always follow your heart.. if ur heart says to text him at 3am do it because you never know what and when things are going to change never let the chance go.. follow your heart
launchora_imgMiss M
6 weeks ago
Heartbreaking how love can be complicated when all we ever do was to give out most of our love
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Published on April 23, 2017

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