I woke up an hour late today as it's a Sunday. The sunlight falling on my face coming straight through the huge window pane woke me up. I sat up and stared at the lawn through the glass pane, the grass somehow looked greener than it was yesterday, like in a darker shade of green. The flowers, all in different colors were in their full bloom looking like a piece of the painting 'Bauerngarten Mit Sonnenblumen' by 'Gustav Klimt ', a famous Austrian painter.
'Zaara must have opened the curtains after she woke up' I thought to myself.
Zaara and I have always been best friends. She's always been there for me, right from the first time l went to school, to the first time I had my heart broken by a naive guy in our senior year, to the first-time I had alcohol and ran through the entire college shouting random stuff making it clear that I lost my mind somewhere never discoverable. We were inseparable, always. Recently, We have been working on developing this app after our first one almost aced at the World championships last year, selling at, well, a huge amount.
And suddenly something hit me, Zaara doesn't wake up this early! She's a night owl and she won't be up for atleast two hours generally after I wake up.
I got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth. With the toothbrush in my hand, I walked out the door, looking for her. She wasn't in her bedroom ,living room, kitchen, the usual places I would find her. Wondering if she went out for a walk, I walked towards the lawn. There she was, sitting at the corner-most place in the lawn, looking at the sky, with her hair tied in a messy bun, which she usually does when anxious or when she's in a thinking mood. With her eyes closed and a blank face shimmering in the sunlight,she seemed like she was lost in her own thoughts. I went up to her.
Sitting beside her, I asked ,
" What's wrong? Is everything alright?"
She looked towards me and smiled,
"How did you know something's up?"
" I literally lived with you for twenty years. You should ask me a question if I wouldn't know. So, tell me, What's up?"
Taking a deep breath, she sighed and said,
" It's nothing serious. You know, I have been thinking about the beliefs we have and harsh truths we get to know. "
"Mmm-hmm. I'm listening."
" I don't think there is a concept called true love in reality. You know, I feel like it's imaginary. For me, it is. I'm not trying to offend people who believe otherwise. I have always been one of them, the people who believe in Forevers and Love lasting eternities. But not anymore, I guess.
Maybe it's just a phase I'm in right now, or maybe it's the truth. Recently, I started to realise that nothing in this world is constant. Love, Hate, Lust Anger. Some last longer and some don't. But, Everything comes with an expiry date.
Understanding this concept has been very hard on me, I, being an irreversible romantic, have always liked the notion of Forevers and the concept of souls and soulmates. I hope it's true, but it's just not. There might be a parallel universe where these ideas and concepts are true and make sense, not this world. But if you ask me, Why can't any of these be true.
Because Change is inevitable. Everything that's made of atoms in this world is entitled to change, owing to the entropy. Entropy is the measure of randomness of a system. As copied from a book- It is the tendency of a system that is left to itself, to descend into chaos. And love is just a chemical reaction engineered in our brains sending electrical impulses leading to oxytocin release and thence the feeling of being in love."
She remained calm for a second before she talked again,
" Why is it so important to love, to be loved?" She asked me, staring at the blue sky.
" Mmmm....let me think," with a puzzled expression on my face, I continued,
" Maybe because this someone, I mean, the person who loves you, would know the accurate dose of the coffee you need to get through the day, in the perfect way you like , to sum it up- An everyday available customised barista. Who doesn't want that!"
We laughed at my bad sense of humor and I continued,
"Or maybe because it feels good to have someone run their hands in your hair and hum a song to put you to sleep on thundering nights and nights you think you can't make it through.
Or maybe it feels good that this person would know what's up with you just by looking at your eyes or the way your hairdo is.
Or maybe because deep down, We all are irreversibly romantic and want to be loved and accepted just the way we are by someone.
But most importantly because it feels nice to have someone to be there for you selflessly in this selfish sycophantic world."
"Yeah. I agree with all this and I know, True Love is never selfish and Hence it doesn't exist. Because in reality, somewhere deep down we all are.
And, Between Flowers and Forevers, only one of them is true. We all know which one."
Sighing of relief, of getting everything out of her system, She got up and ran towards her room telling me she needed to brush her teeth.
I sat there in silence in awe of this newfound wisdom wondering ' How true it is!'
I guess it's my turn now to stare at the blue blank nothing.
- Auburn