The Girl(s) I Love

I thought, I knew what love is, but I was wrong. Met her first, after my school changed and at that time I didn't knew what love is.....

The first time I felt love was at my tuition classes. There I was, a sad, not so old and not so beautiful boy.(I looked much better than now at that time, I was also much slimmer) And she was from another school and we were both the last people(students) to submit our answer sheets. As we went outside our teacher's house she asked me about if I knew what is love! I knew that love was like caring about something and before i could finish my sentence she hugged me tight for a moment and then went on her cycle and went away.... Not looking back at all. Never again...

It's funny isn't it? I came to knew what love is but never again met that teacher of mine who taught me the lesson of a lifetime.

Then I fell in love with another girl. She was in another section of the same class and at that time one of the few who matched my age, as I had read in the same class twice(I said earlier that I changed my school). I tried to impress her for days.... Even years......

Suddenly, I realized that she was not into "my kind" of guys. People who don't have style, people who are fat, people who are simple, kind, helping, nature-loving. She would rather have a boy who flirts, who likes to play around with weaker students, who does a lots of things I can never do! 

I suddenly saw another girl and I have fallen in love again. Or what I think is love. In many years for the first time I have lost balance in myself... I started sweating and trash talked to my friend and asked him to help me with the case(I often use the best amount of swears in English you can find in the country and they do the vice-versa). I still don't know what love means.

I just wish I had that one teacher. The one who loved me, instead of me  loving her. She taught me something that I would never forget. As that teaching of her would torture me till I die.....

(By the way it's not a death note or something)