The Hour glass

Wait!!! Before you start reading, I want to tell you couple of things. First of all, yes, I'm the author and I'm portraying an incident that happened to me some time ago. Spoiler Alert, I don't die. Second, this is one regular Indian romantic tale but what makes it apart from the countless other similar books is that it's narrated to you be me, personally. No doubt, I'm such an awesome person. So without any further delay let me start the story, but before that a few things. There will be constant breaks in my story where I'll be analyzing the stupidity of my decisions. We were all young and stupid once, so not only does this book keep you entertained but offer you useful insights in the human psychology. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Praveen, hero of this book and there's Thipi, the heroine / Villain of this book (That's the recent trend right? Women are bad while men usually have heart of gold) and a few friends who, contrary to common belief, don't exist just to help me get married, but also have a life of their own. That's all the major characters I think, I'll add more if I need.

Basically, I'm going to start with my painful story so that you understand how hard it is to be me and you can connect with me, because everyone's life is a struggle. Back to story, I had a pretty good school life, good friends, good teachers and then my first love of my life. As you probably are aware about India, we like to pretend that we are very reserved and mask it as a proud cultural heritage. So I was initially very shy to even talk to her and not to mention I was scared as fuck to ask her out for a date. I want to narrate this part specifically (It felt like if symphony is played by 1000 violins at the same time…How would it be?), but then you would drop this book and move on to the next, so (I say a lot of "so" don't I?) Long story short, we became friends, I wanted it to be more, she (never knew what she wanted) and it all came to an end even before school ended and I had my first heart break. It was that day I had decided that I would never fall in love until I married and I would like to point out that this was not a phase where I was exploring my sexuality, pondering if I was straight. For those who didn't get the sarcasm, I'm as straight as a surface that was grinded in a cylindrical grinding machine (mechanical engineer, can't help it).

So there I was, heart broken and with exams right around the corner, you could predict that things didn't go quite well. That's where money solves the problem, pay them and you can join a college that everyone says is one of the top university because you get to be a school student for another four years and then, if you are a good little boy, come out with a generic job, so (again?) that you can be married and have children and then die like everyone else because everyone else does it. Sorry, got off track, Anyway, I'm not going to disclose the name of the college, so they don’t come in the middle of the night and kill me for snitching on them. Let's assume its called ABC engineering college and is located in the capital of Tamil Nadu, Madrasapatinam.

It was one warm summer morning during my first year at college. I saw her for the first time, but my roommate was the one who told me about this girl. See, our college was a bit stickier (a bit of an understatement) to rules and every student regardless of how far they were, had to use the college bus. Lokesh was an early riser and usually caught the first bus that came our way and on that fateful day, I still remember it clearly, we had no clean clothes on us and got to use copious amount of perfume. That was one of the reasons we were late, anyway back to Lokesh, as usual he was waiting for the bus when he saw a quite remarkable girl. (No, I'm not going to use the most beautiful girl in the world, my destiny or some similar euphemism for a girl that I was attracted to)
Since he was catching the bus daily at that same time, he was curious about this girl (and a little attracted, I think). It was the usual, "Hi", "never seen you here", "wow, same college?" "I'm first year mechanical", "oh, you're first year computer science?", "You were in the hostel all these days?", "Was that your father who dropped you off?", "What's your name, I'm Lokesh". That was the entire conversation that took place that day, not because he didn't have anything else to ask, but because of another rule (members of the opposite sex are not allowed to talk each other inside the college property).
Sugavanam and I somehow caught the last bus and an hour later, made our way to the mess hall (One of the better aspects of our college, an all you can eat menu). College was pretty boring, shouted at a couple times, made to stand out for a class, asked to see the HOD for misbehaving (yeah, I know you're wondering whether I'm in a college or high school). Finally at 3 30 the day came to an end and on the way back Lokesh filled me about the girl. Being a 19 year old single guy, I was also naturally curious and began searching the bus for a glimpse of this girl. The strange thing was that we were not able to find and since it was a one hour journey and we had nothing else to do (did I tell you that cell phones are banned in my college?) I asked a computer science friend of mine, who was sitting in front of, partially dozing off, if he knew a girl called "heroine" in his class, all I got was a grunt which might have meant no, but before I could ask for more details, he leaned forward on his seat and feel asleep.
So, this was troubling my mind for the entire day and because of this I couldn't complete my assignments (one of the reasons). Tomorrow, I vowed, I would get up early and find out who this girl is, but as usual I feel asleep, got late and Lokesh saw her again, but couldn't ask anything to her because her father was with her and he looked a bit imposing. Two weeks passed.

Finally Sugavanam called me with the news, "Dei! That girl is standing in the bus stop alone, come quick", I got on the bike and raced as fast as I could to see her standing there. Let me be clear here, I never felt anything in my stomach or my heart when I saw her, no butterflies, no missing beats, nothing. I parked my bike and stood next to her.
'Hi!'
'Ummm, Hi?' looking around to see if her father was watching her.
'I heard you're in the same college as me? What's your name?' Doesn't reply, just waits for the bus. I get a bit impatient and try to take a peek at her ID card, suddenly her hand flies up to cover the information. 'Sorry, didn't mean to startle you' I apologize, 'No one in the college has ever seen you, so I was curious as to what department you were in'
She removes her hand from the ID card and says, 'CSC, and the reason most of your friends have never heard of me is because I like to keep to myself'
'Ooohhh' I exclaim, thankfully before the situation could become more awkward, the bus arrived and we silently climbed into the pris-, I mean college bus.

The next few days were siege with me trying to get as much information about her as I could during those short 5 minutes while we waited for the bus. Finally tired of this, I asked for her number which she naturally declined, I didn't press her on that subject more (I'm a decent guy). She then suggested that maybe I could give her my number and she would contact me later. (I seriously don't understand how this is different from what I suggested) Anyway I
agreed, though I said that she would probably throw that piece of paper that held my number away.

Two or maybe 3 days passed, then I received a text from an unknown number that morning
GOOD MORNING!
Too sleepy to acknowledge the greeting, I just hit 'Who's this' and went back to sleep. Two hours later I got a text saying, 'You deleted my number? I'm Vidhya!’ Now I felt that 'missing a beat' description, because Vidhya was my high school crush, we were best friends but I never made the move and after school got over we parted on good terms, even though a little part of me resented that. Back to present, that feeling was only for a moment because I realized that it was more probably for one of my school buddies pranking me, trying to send something embarrassing. ‘Just shut up and tell me who this is' (The original text was more colorful) I didn't get a reply for the rest of the day, then that night 'Is this how you speak to a girl? I'm Thipi, you were the one who asked me to text you'
My mind froze, 'This is it' something deep inside me spoke, 'your next 5 seconds is going to define your next four years at college and maybe your life'. So I waited for more than a minute and sent a casual text, 'LOL! I thought one of my friends were playing a prank on me'
- A smiley face; and we started talking casually and the days of our life slowly crept on. I wouldn't want to bore you with the usual texting nonsense, so I'll limit myself to a few interesting incidents that took place in the span of 2 years.
Incident #1
This was after a few weeks of us texting, during lunch one of my friends came to me and said that his girlfriend had inquired about activities, sort of like a background check. Immediately it sparked to my mind that this was Thipi's handiwork, with a cocksure smirk I hit a text message, 'Do you always carry out background checks on all your friends?’
No text for more than an hour and then a call, I answered,'Hey! She said, a bit breathless, 'Sorry for that, I didn't mean to insult you or anything, just that one of my friends asked to check on you'
'No problem, but a word of advice, don't ask one of friends about me, they will always answer positive and will tell me that someone was asking around for me'
I could feel her embarrassment through the tiny speakers on my Nokia 520 as she tried to laugh, 'I am going to kill her, okay see you later!' 'Take Care!' I said.
That was how I came to know that one of my best friends from school, Divya, was also one of Thipi's roommates during her time at hostel. We three formed a WhatsApp group and most of our evenings passed in useless conversations, insulting each other.
Divya used to stay at chrompet, so one day she asked me and Thipi  to a mall. I replied that I couldn't since my friends had already asked me to come to the same mall. I still had a little dignity then. She began to beg saying that this is her only time she could spend with her friends and that she would be then busy with her college soon. I gave in after a few halfhearted arguments but I strongly said that we'd not go to the mall but to a coffee day near it. Both of them agreed and I started from my room in 20 minutes.
I reached there to find only Thipi had come (A twitch of excitement?) We started talking and half an hour later, Divya arrived with a taunting smile, 'Looks like I'm interrupting a date'. I remained calm but felt the same twitch. Thipi blushed slightly and greeted her friend and soon we started talking and talking till Divya remarked that it was well over 2 hours and she was late. With quick goodbyes we left that coffee place.
Incident #2
I wouldn't call this a single incident but a bunch of small, similar ones. Thipi and I had gotten pretty close by now (Now over an year when Lokesh saw her). During my vacations, my mother started talking with her whenever she called me. My mother used to ask her how I was at college and she would reply that I was a real bad boy and that she should discipline me. My mother would then mockingly reply that she knew that her son was good and then both of them would laugh as if sharing a joke.
On her end of the line, her friends used to taunt her, 'Talking to your mother in law?' 'She seems cool, lucky you'. She begged her friends to keep quiet while she was talking to my mother.
Another incident is that quite a few times she used to say something insensitive, though to be fair I was being too sensitive and with a harsh retort I would end the call and then block her number while she used to keep calling me on another phone desperately. Yeah I know, I was being a jerk but a few times she had insulted my friends but it was an honest mistake and deep down I know that it wasn't what she really meant to say nonetheless to prove to macho or what not, I used to fight back. Most of these fights (more than 20) during the span of 3 months involved her apologizing for my mistakes.
On the day of my birthday, I am a popular guy and had many friends, they used to wish me at 12am. Unbeknownst to me, Thipi had been trying to call me right from 12 am till 1 am while I was speaking to my friends. Finally her's was the last call I answered and being very sleepy, I replied curtly and hung up. At that time I didn't know that she was waiting for more than an hour to contact me. This logical connection formed when I received a lukewarm response to my text the next day.
-Hey, I'm extremely sorry for being so insensitive tomorrow.
-No problem, you're a pretty popular guy and you must have a lot of well-wishers.
-Still that doesn't justify my actions.
-As I said, No problem
-Let me make up to you, I'll buy you dinner.

And that was the first time we went alone and that's when there was a silver of a doubt whether I was falling for her.

Incident #3
Lokesh used to talk to her, though not as often as me and during one of their conversations, she spilled that she has a condition that when she is excited she gets a nose bleed and if it's serious she may even faint. She then promised Loki to not tell this to me, but of course as you guessed he filled me on everything, but asked me not to mention this to her. I was really shocked and from then on I tried to maintain my temper with her. Time passed on, the intensity of our fights were lower and some of the texts were getting flirty. Then, as always when things go great there's always a big incident waiting to fuck it up.
I don't remember the reason, but one of our fights got to my head and I bellowed, 'I promise on my mother's life that I won't speak to you ever again'. As soon as I ended the call, I realized Thipi's condition and that I had been reckless. I called her abruptly only to find no answer, I called her again, this time her cousin picked it up and quietly, 'Bro, she's unconscious, don't worry we have given her the medication, I'll tell her to call later'.
I went to bed that night with my heart heavy with guilt. Desperately I waited for her text for more than a week, then I decided to call her.
-Hey!
-Hi!
-Why didn't you call back?
-You said that you never wanted me to call you again (her voice quivering a bit)
-You know how I am, I get angry and say something foolish.
-Yeah know, that's why I was thinking that we should stop speaking to each other.
-Come on, isn't this a bit over reacting?
(Nothing) then she ends the call. I tried to call her again, but she had blocked my number. I sent her countless apologizing texts to her, asked Divya to talk to her and even asked my mother to speak to her, which she did. I suddenly got a mental image of how she must have felt when I had blocked her even though it was never her fault.
My mom finally got her to speak and things were getting normal between us, but with one slight change. I was pretty sure I was falling for her while she was still looking at me as a friend.
Final year came and I had 15 arrears while she was solid 8 pointer and got placed in a renowned IT company. Both of us understood that we'd soon be parting and one of my friends told me that most of the people who start working never have time for their friends. I was pretty confident that I would never join her company (never liked software companies in the first place) and so on the day when she was leaving for Pune for training, I broke down and proposed to her. Her reaction was that of shock and she started walking to the bus without replying. I did not pursue her that evening, and the following night I got a text from her saying that she does not love me and if I had feelings for her, it would be better for us to stop talking with her.
My heart broke for the second time in my life, but arduously I texted her, 'Okay, let's be friends'. But to me utter shock, she had blocked my number. The old rage was starting to creep into my conscious brain, ready to overrule any logical thought, but I quickly brought it back into control.
I stopped talking to her for more than a month and that's when her birthday came. I decided to wish her using another number.
-Hello
-Hi, who is this?
-it's me! Happy birthday!
-Oh, hi, thanks!
(Now the usual chatter, but her every word was cold and distant)
-Is this your new number?
-No, you blocked my number, so I got a new one.
-If you had checked, you would have noticed that I had unblocked you for more than a week.
My heart began to dance and a voice whispered, 'If she unblocked you, then she must like you'
So we started talking, my estatic mood failing to notice the icy edge of her every word. Finally ending the call, I felt the happiest person alive and found it difficult to sleep that night.
We started talking agaim, but everytime I mentioned something about our relationship she used to block me. It was as if I was paying for my blocking her during our first stage of friendship. Though this time the fault was in neither of us. She used to block me for a week, then I used to apologize using Lokesh's number and sometimes she would block Lokesh also and finally we would start talking as though nothing had happened. So my entire life had been reduced to weeks where I was happy talking to her and the day where I was profusely apolozing to her.
This cycle going for more than 6 months, my friends had enough and asked me to stop being so pathetic. 'One girl is not worth losing your entire life', that's what they said and I began to realize how deplorable my life has been to my friends. I took a deep breathe, brushed all my feelings for her deep inside me and went on with my life, never checking if she unblocked me or not.
After more than 2 months of my 'mental break-up', I was cruising around Chennai on my bike, then 100 meters in front of me, I saw her standing with her friends getting ready to cross the road, laughing at a joke someone had cracked. The old rage came creeping up, 'How can she be so happy while I was miserable for more than a month,' the voice whispered and started stoking the flames of the red hot anger. My hands started twisting the accelerator, pushing it way past 60. My eyes burning with angry tears locked on her slender frame as she started walking across the road oblivious to my raging bike. (In hindsight I realized how stupid I was and ask everyone to not take any decision when you are blinded with anger). With less than 10meters from my target, the loud pounding of my 350cc single cylinder engine caught her attention and she looked at me with an expression of shock and nothing else, no anger, no love, just shock that some stranger is going to make her another number in the yearly road accident statistics.
My brain proceed this in half a second, 'Why do you want to throw down your life to someone who doesn't even have a shred of feeling for you' it asked and the voice stoking the flames of my rage which were now hotter than my engine cylinder had no reply. I sverved at the last possible moment and hit a car parked at the edge of the road. The impact throwing me over the car and down to the pavement on the other side. My head exploded in sharp pricks of pain and I could see that someone had started a firework display. 'But today is not diwali' I mumbled confused as I stared at the sky and the crowd that had gathered around me. I thought I saw her standing at the edge but when I tried to turn my head, another series of pain tore through my neck and I blacked out.
I woke a few days later on a hospital bed, surrounded by the worried face of friends and family, but not her. I was never going to see her again and it did not bother me.