Growing up is not about having more responsibilities, or having a better job. Its not about having more money or being able to pay for rent and the bills. I’ve met a lot of people who has more money more than everyone else, I've met a lot of people who could pay for both their rent and for their bills, but in the end they can’t tell the difference between their ass and mouth.
Growing up means a lot of things, but it certainly does not mean anything about quantity. So don’t tally up your money or how many people you’ve fucked (both literally and non-literally), or how many houses you’ve bought or how many trips you’ve been in around the world. Don’t go on telling people all of these things in a desperate attempt to make yourself feel better, because in the end, no matter how much money you’ve made in your life or how many hot ex-girlfriends you’ve had, all of these things does not mean shit if you can’t stop the voices from consuming you from the inside.
Growing up brews down to very simple things that you might not recognize. Growing up is about eating food you haven’t eaten before. Growing up is walking outside your house once in a while. Growing up is about waking up before 9:30am. Growing up is about sleeping before 10:30pm. Growing up is all about the small individual things you do to make yourself a better person, but at the same time growing up is about living your life even if how shitty it is.
It’s about moving on after you’ve been screwed over by your bestfriend. It’s about moving on after you’ve screwed over your ex-fiancé. It’s about living your life without running away. It’s about getting punch in the gut over and over again because you can’t learn for shit. Stubborness is one way to tell yourself that you’re eventually going to get better.
Growing up is about being able to keep your shit together when everything inevitably falls apart. It’s about not crying when your tears are so damn heavy. It’s about falling gracefully, because at some point you have no other choice but to fall.
It’s about accepting the lies to make amends to yourself.
Life is shitty and most of the time you’ll be running. Most of the time you’ll be taking the gut punches without being able to fight back. Most of the time you’ll be lying to your friends and family and to the girl you want to fuck that one night because you want them to think that you have a better life than what you really have, and guess what? That’s alright.
Because in reality growing up or being mature does not really mean anything. Having more money or more houses does not mean anything. Having countless relationships certainly does not mean anything. Life is not accountable for anything you do nor does it tally every single thing that happens to you. Life moves on and it moves on better than you because it knows how to leave you.
So go out there and do whatever you’ve been planning to set out to do ever since. Push and push until blood replaces your sweat. Push and push until you can’t stand up anymore, because let me tell you that there is no way out of this. This repetitive cycle does not have an end and sadly, in the next life, it’ll be the same. Growing up is smiling within this insanity called life.
And no, you really shouldn’t listen to a twenty year old failure who’s telling you what it means to live life. You should be out there living your life.
"Even though I'm no more than a monster - don't I, too, have the right to live?"
-Dae-su Oh, Oldboy