The Axiom of Equality

"The axiom of equality states that x always equals x: it assumes that if you have a conceptual thing named x, that it must always be equivalent to itself, that it has a uniqueness about it, that it is in possession of something so irreducible that we must assume it is absolutely, unchangeably equivalent to itself for all time, that its very elementalness can never be altered."

- Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

When I look back into life, I see the infinite expanse of the universe conspiring around me, telling me that the whole world is my oyster. But at the same time, I see the same expanse of emptiness that continues to expand ever so slightly, towards and upon itself. 

I finished reading A Little Life quite some time ago and the Axiom of Equality is my favorite chapter within the book, simply because, it is where everything goes to shit. And yet, it was within that chaos, I saw meaning within Jude's life, and it is also in the middle of the reoccurring chaos in my life that I saw mine. 

The Axiom of Equality entails that a concept x should be equal to itself. If you put yourself into that concept x then you are denoting that you are equal to yourself and you consider that every part of yourself is ever-so unique, with all the flaws and undesirable traits. So no matter what you do, whoever you become, you will always be equal to yourself. However, such an axiom is hard to prove. Just like the uniqueness of every individual.

You can't just walk into a bar and tell everyone and the barkeep, "I'm unique!", that will sound stupid and ruin a good introduction for a joke and also letting everyone miss the punchline (which in this case is you). But at the same time, why shouldn't be the case? Why can't we just go to walk to someone and tell them that we're unique, and be unique right after that?

I'm not going to dwell into human subjectivity because that will take us forever to understand. It's hard to prove our uniqueness so why even bother? The space between you and everyone else does not explain a boundary, but rather, it explains the essential uniqueness that you have between everyone else. Not everyone will follow you or like your work, that is true, because you cannot please everyone (all seven billion people in the world) in your lifetime. You being far away from the given truth does not explain your on stupidity but rather it explains your  ability to improve to something better. What's the point of the truth in a world made by lies, anyway?

 We are all variables in a given equation made by x=God (substitute the variable into whoever you believe in, because mathematics is not biased to any point). So with this given thought, I have to tell you that I have to start forging another way for myself. 

As of the previous months, I have been working as a freelancing writer, and studying to become a Psychologist. Everything is busy and the equation is getting blurrier and blurrier. So that is why I haven't worked on much stories. But don't worry, when the fog and smoke clears, everything becomes clearer than before. 

As much as  I love posting and creating stories for other people, I also have to start concentrating on myself. I'm planning to work on my second book and also create a book filled by own short stories. It's going to be a long way but one step towards it makes it shorter. So I don't think I'll be posting a lot here anymore, although, I'll be checking from time to time as to how things are coming around. Maybe post a story and a rant here once in while, let's see how things go.

But as for you, remember that there are also places for you to go. There are a trillion stars in the universe, and who knows, maybe one day, you can be one of them.