Every other day I happen to find myself and my friends huddled inside a brightly lit box made of an alloy of metals,going up and down and summoned at will. Although I am claustrophobic , it’s still amusing to observe a thing or two to take my mind off that while there are other living beings breathing down mine and each others’ neck.This is one of the most awkward places to be on this planet.Of course,it’s ‘The Lift’ !
Congratulations if the lift you use has mirrors in it. Each and every move you make can be seen and scrutinized.(Nope ,you have to delay that scratching 😵).
If it’s crowded and you are stuck in, you can pretend to be a mannequin till your destination arrives. Or for that matter,be the leaning tower of pisa to avoid touching anyone by mistake. While leaning your nose accidentally brushes across a girl’s bountiful yet untied hair while someone’s shoulder bag is crushing you in. You can hear loudly,a scolding that a person beside you is getting through their phone , hmm,probably the wife. It’s mostly the wife! “Eh eh..Achhhooo👺!” Damn.The bountiful haired girl turns and looks disgustingly at you😡.So now let me tell you a thing or two about my observations in this matter.
You can start raising your eyebrows now because I am going to rant about it and I will stereotype it as well , although even I am guilty of it too in some way or the other.We Indians ,are typical people. Actually ‘typical’ is an understatement in this case! We are archetypal.And here is proof.There are people who actually use the lift to go from ground floor to 1st floor. The ones who come down from 1st to ground are even worse.Nope ,they are not handicapped ♿, neither are they pregnant 🤰. They just will use the lift because : “why not?!” “If it’s there for free , I will use it..what’s your damn problem! Is this your father’s lift?” 🙄 Typical mentality, Ahem..Ahem..nope it’s not.Purpose of having a lift is killed brutally then and it’s sooo not helping that pot belly you have dear Sir/Madam 🐖..😁😀
Then there is the category of people who see you approaching the lift, have eye contact with you👀, but no, they do nothing to stop it for u! Why should they! You will just be delaying them further.Already most of buttons inside are glowing red.Who needs another human to cramp up ! Ok sir, Thanks a ton for NOT HELPING😤! I do my mental thing and try to etch his/her face on my mind as they show in Crime patrol ..yes 😈remember dear that every dog has his day and there will be payback you moron! 😈 We’ll just switch places soon!
Next come the people who clearly cannot take instructions and take personal insult when they can’t fit due to the weight overload ! They turn a blind eye 🙈 to the “13 person(800 kg) limit” as well as the lift’s automated lady’s voice saying “Lift is overloaded” in a loop while other people heave and mutter sighs of dissatisfaction at their time being wasted and patience being tested 😒🙄😣.. sometimes the person in question squeezes in and holds his/her breathe. To everyone’s utter disbelief that works too!😳 Sometimes there is a cavalry of friends..They won’t get in till each one of them fit in a single lift. When the last one of them cannot fit, all of them march out together💂💂💂💂.I sort of like it.Yay that’s loyalty and friendship for you! 🥂cheers..
Next comes the Chemical compound category. These individuals leave some sort of chemical in the lift and as disgusting as this may sound I will say it. There are people who unfortunately fart 💨,burp 😲,sneeze🤧 ,cough(handkerchief anyone!😣),right on your neck or face. These people actually can’t be blamed for doing that because most of the time it’s not in their control. But what do you do about those nose and teeth pickers👹! Like seriously man! You will touch that same button as I do and you will do that right after taking out boogies from your nose 😪👃!!! 👿 Disgusting !!!!
You can always find friends who tease each other in code words in the lift out loud just to make fun. They have eye contact to show each other something, lest the other one misses it. There are crushes and love stories that take birth and sometimes die also inside lifts.There are people like me , scanning someone from head to toe just to gather fashion related data 😶 .There are phone calls or the attempt to have one :”I can’t hear you ,I am in the lift” . Then there are temporary prisoners who get stuck together due to power failure and are each other’s support that time. Albeit it’s an interesting place to be while our mundane lives keep going on, but it’s the most awkward place ever! 😬😬
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