The Past Wasn't What I Thought It Was..

I've been through a lot over the years as I sit and begin to think,
And I have to thank God my life is not now so toxic anymore-hell I was always at the kitchen sink!,
Mopping vomit and wasted time off my parlour floors,
Poly- filling the gaping holes an argument would have punched in my front door,
Crying my eyes and screaming from heartache because my supposed boyfriend hadn't been home for almost a week,
My mother rolling her eyes to me and sighing she was sick of dealing with my life and excuses that my ideal lifestyle was weak,
She'd tell me how deluded I was that I thought my life was peaceful,
I told her arguing back not to be so judgemental to my friends, or as she would say 'oh those fucking rude people',
I sit here in my bed in the quiet of the stars and the moon,
And I smile because I have actual love in my life for my self, my friends and family and hopefully soon,
A man who has shown pure joy, a pure heart to me,
We hope to find a small place that's ours to just be,
How great full I am I've grown kinder towards myself because the stress did take it out of my soul,
Now I can just relax with my mind and enjoy growing old.