The Pink Apartment

So much has happened here.. And I'm still here. With this guy hugging me with all the love he can give. At least that's what I want to believe.

What is a comfort zone really? Somewhere you feel safest? Or maybe just somewhere you are very much used to? Is it the best zone that when you've found it you should stay there no matter what, or is coming out of it the real point?

I am used to being here.. I am used to being with this guy.. Does that make him my comfort zone? If he is, indeed, my comfort zone, should I stay with him no matter what?

We all have questions. Standards. Beliefs. But are they really worth it? What is the point of life if you won't stick by your own standards and beliefs? Would that be pointless or unrealistic? Would it?

Is being realistic equivalent to putting up with everything in front of you because that's what life gave you? Is waiting for something great a total waste of time especially when nothing fucking great would ever come?

It pains me to absorb that the reality so many people believe is that passion is a fairytale. I want to believe. I want to wait. But the world.. This place.. Makes me afraid.. What if they're right and I'm wrong and there really is nothing greater than what's here now in this pink apartment? Is this hug all there is? Of all the hugs out there..

What if 'out there' is where my real comfort zone is? Is wondering about 'out there' really pointless?

Come on, pink apartment. Answer me.