The Why Feelings

Why are there too many whys in every persons life? This whys that's in my head tends to become an issue to me, I built myself a wall not to easily trust others. I became a girl who has trust issues.

Every actions, words and expressions makes me analyze, every small bit of it. I wonder its intention on doing this kind of things to me, I build reasons on why they act like that to me. It is either they want something from me or just want to have fun. Especially to the boy who tried to soften my cold heart, I really wondered why he wants me. What's in me that he likes? Why did choose me? Is it because, I look like a girl who can easily be fooled, or its because I'm too ugly to cheat on you? Or even you just want something from me?

I got issues that's why I analyze everything and every move. Even to my friends, I ask myself on why they befriended me. What's in me that they are interested with? Do I reach their standard of friendship or they just want a puppet in the clique?

With all this whys, I even have a why to my own self. Why did I became like this? Why am I so bitter in life? Why do I seek negative vibe in my future? Why? Why? This whys of mine tends to stick on my mind always, then I reason out to myself; "its because of your past. Its because of what they did to you. Its because you've experienced it and don't want to feel the hurt and betrayal anymore. Its because you are tired of crying. Its because you don't believe anymore."  I want to erase all of this whys but every time I try, something will always comes up that reaches the point of crushing my hopes and breaking my heart all over again.