To the man who broke his promise (an open letter)

Dearest Kyle, 

            I missed you a lot. It's been days since you were gone. The thought of you everyday is always killing me from the inside.  I've been sick.  I couldn't eat nor think well. I just can't get you out of my mind. Even If there's a way to forget you, I won't ever take that way because I don't ever want to wipe you out of my system.  I won't ever forget you, never.  I wasn't mad at you honestly. I am just confused and I couldn't believe it happened to us. I'm still holding on to that "always and forever" that we promised to each other. And believe me, if one day you'll find your way back to me, I'll still accept you (over and over again).  And with no doubt,  I'll forget everything in the past and start again with you, back to the way we used to be. 

           Still,  you are the best thing that ever happened to my life.  You are my great love next to God. Remember what I told you before,  if it wouldn't be you, then I'd rather not marry at all.  I'm keeping that promise Kyle, forever.  I love you and that's for lifetime. 

             Maybe there are really things that aren't meant to be,  and maybe we're one of those.  As what I've told you before, you can have all the free right and choice to do whatever your heart wants. I hope she's treating you well, I'm sure she is. Love each other like how Christ loved His church. 

            I could still remember everything Kyle. From the day we first knew each other. In every exams I take,  you were there to wish me blessings. I love that you were so open to talk about everything before. Thank you for those conversations my great love. They were all gone on my phone but they will always stay in my heart, 'till the day I die.  I just wished I had saved at least one of your videos/voice messages,  nevertheless,  I remember your voice too well and it has become my lullaby as I cry myself to sleep. 

             My life has been a messed since you left me. I wish you had explained to me why because I somewhat believe I deserve an acceptable reason. I need a closure,  no matter how hurtful it would be. But I'm still trying to continue to live my life.  I'm still not halfway towards my full recovery but I know one day I'll be able to get there.  I still want to see you someday and still want to spend my whole life with you.  But if God has other plans for the both of us,  I think I'll follow His because those were better than ours. 

            Believe me,  Oklahoma is already on my list of dream destinations.  One day If God is willing,  when I'm rich enough to travel the world,  I would like to visit you whether you like it or not. I would want to see my great love building his own beautiful family. I wouldn't be there to ruin your family in the future. I would just want to see you being a great father to his kids and a loving husband to his wife. So,  expect me to be there 10 or more years from now. 

              So,  I guess this is it.  I love you Kyle, ALWAYS AND FOREVER, through thick and thin,  no matter what...I'll forever be here for you my great love. 

(I'm still on the process of moving on. I only want his happiness. So,  I let him go and I'm here, still trying to be OK, still smiling, still pretending that everything is fine. I know God is still in control of everything. If we're really meant to be together, time will come that he and I will meet at the end of the road.)