"The train leaves at 6 am. What time should I wake up? Is 4:30 fine."
"Yes, that will be fine. I won't call you in the morning to wake you up. I'll be sleeping. So, be on time. I'll call you at 6:30."
"OK, Mom.. Good night."
"Good night".
You have always loved your sleep more than the world around you. "Sleep in the early morning is so refreshing", you say. And I don't blame you, it is indeed mesmerizing-sleep in the morning. You have always hated your mundane daily chores and always wished you were rich and there were too many domestic helps around. You rarely attended any of our school functions. You cooked really well but always hoped if someone else would have cooked for the family. You created such a scene when dad didn't bring your favorite vanilla cake. Your pickles are never delicious though you make the best food. Yes, I am talking about you, mom.
In India, when we hear the word "mother", a visual imagery is formed in our minds of a figure who takes care of you, one who cooks food delicious enough for you to relish every single morsel, one who makes amazing pickles, one who wakes you up in the morning- a self sacrificing, loving personality. My mother has never been everything of these. You have never been a typical Indian mother. When my hostel mates talk about the savory dishes their mothers make when they get home, I am reminded of your words, "Honey, I am not sure if you'll even get home cooked lunch this time when you come home but I have talked to a nearby restaurant, they serve everything". When my friends talk about their mothers picking them up from school, I remember the van driver who forgot to pick me up from school when I was five years old or the time my little sister was waiting in the rain crying in front of the school gate cause mom, you were so so late. But every time someone says "You know my mom left her job so she could take care of me. I so wish she hadn't", I am filled with such a pride and respect for my mom. You are an inspiration for me and my sister.
You were never less good than any other mother. You are just this amazing soul who chose her needs before us. And I am so proud of you for doing that. I know how your heart ached when you had to leave me, a 3 month old baby with a nanny whom you had known for just two days. Your body shivered until you returned home to see me safe. I know how you and dad sacrificed your nights' sleep to take care of me and my sister when we were little. I know how tears rolled down your eyes when you were late to pick up my little sister from school and another parent said to you, "You should be more responsible, she is just a child" but you had got late at work. I still admire how you realized that it was essential for you to have your job not just for you, but for your children too, for a better financial life. When dad says, "If your mom hadn't worked, some things wouldn't have been possible for us", I just can't help being marveled at you. It's fine if you can't make the right pickles or if you don't get time to cook for us. What makes me happier is to see you busy at your school projects-being the amazing teacher to your students and the member of the Children's Science Congress. Mom, you leave for work early in the morning still I and sis had the best lunch in our lunch boxes. We have grown up seeing you and dad share equality in every sphere. Till the age of fifteen, I didn't know that men's work and women's work held a huge difference in the society and we so love you both for that.
Mom, I do feel sad at times when you don't have time for us or when you complain about the daily chores. But you know what, that sadness is nothing compared to the happiness I get realizing that you are so much more than my mother and dad's wife-you are that tough independent woman who never hesitated to speak about her needs, to think of herself before others. We don't complain if our fathers are late from work or if they don't cook or if they never have time for us, because he is a father after all. But we always have complaints against our mother if she does any of that cause she isn't supposed to be like that. But it's high time we realized there is nothing wrong if a woman thinks about her health, work or priorities before others. There's nothing wrong if she keeps her maiden name after marriage like you did, mom. A woman can be a daughter, a mother, a sister, a wife or a gauntlet facing all odds to keep her dreams alive. She can be a home maker, a teacher, a doctor or a fire woman. She doesn't always have to be the damsel in distress, she can also be a hero. She may be the angel who dances to the sound of the raindrops falling at her footsteps or be like the thunder that roars. Mom, I love you and Dad, thank you for supporting this strong woman in flourishing and loving her for who she is.