You used to be my childhood crush. I'm the lazy type of kid back then but I've always wanted to be asked by my mom to go to store to buy something. And I always end up in your store. You have no idea how I sneak a glance of you at your store before. Whenever I go there, I always hoped for the best. And when I say "the best", it means hoping that you are there. Hehe. I've always loved that "kilig" feeling I get whenever you were holding up my "sukli". I acted like as if it annoys me but deep inside I was dying to say "okay don't stop". Your existence back then made my childhood unforgettable and memorable. But then, life isn't always about getting what we desire. We go on separate ways. You went far far away from here. You were gone and so were my feelings for you.
And after long 10 years, here we are having late night conversations despite of us being in different time zone, exchanging stories about life experiences and how well we did for the past years we've never talked. We almost talked about everything. I've been so comfortable with you to the extent that there are things I tell you that I've never even said out loud. You shared to me your hurts, and I tried my best to take them away. I shared the stars with you and you shared to me the beauty of music. You shared to me your breakfast and I shared to you my dinner. I never felt lost when talking with you. We shared laughter even if we are miles miles away from each other. You turn my cheeks into red. You make my heart beats fast. Forget the butterflies; because I can feel the whole zoo when I'm having conversation with you. You never failed to make me smile.
You are smart and your humor is hilarious. You weigh 81 kilograms. You're 5'9 tall. You're 27 years old. You have fair skin and chinito eyes. You're favorite color is red, favorite subject is Math. Your hobby is photography. You're very much talented. You play guitars and drums. And you do martial arts too. Your past time would be watching Running Man or Infinity Challenge. You love to watch horror and comedy movies because you said you either want to be frightened or to laugh hard when you are watching. You love spices. You love coffee so much that sometimes I think blood doesn't run in your veins anymore, it's caffeine instead. You love to cook. You're a full-grown man. You're very passionate in everything that you do. You have goals and dreams. You're gentle, caring and thoughtful. You are you. You are amazingly created by God.
And for the past days and weeks that we exchanged conversations, I've got to know you more. I've got to know you better. And as days goes by, I'm starting to realize that the feelings I have for you back then is gradually coming back, piece by piece, moment by moment. And yes, I think I'm infatuated with you "again" for the second time around, but this time it's more than just that. But then you once said to me, you want to stay single forever. You've been hurt so bad. You've been through complicated circumstances. You're struggling to be the person you ever wanted to be. You have lots of issues. You're a broken piece that don't want to be fixed. You don't believe in marriage anymore. I wanted to protest. I wanted to say to you out loud that I am here and I can be the girl who will support you all through the way. I don't intend to fix you, I just wanted to be beside you while you fix yourself. I want to take care of you. But all I did was to shut my mouth and pretend that it's alright.
You don't want to be in a relationship. I get it. You don't believe in marriage. Okay. You want to stay single forever. I understand. But as you can see, I'm still here, right? Because even after what you've said, I still wanted you to feel happy and loved. I love you and I will stick to you for as long as I can, even after you gave me so much reasons not to. And I am hoping that one day that'll change your mind. That one day, my love itself will make you forget that once in your life you decided to stay single forever.