To The One I'll never have

To the one I’ll never have

Hi. I’ve been thinking about you lately. You have consumed almost all of my time. I’ve even started counting the stars up in the sky, hoping one would grant my wish. And silly may I be, but I’ve been imagining things about how we could be, how I hope we should be—a walk in the beach with hands intertwined, a night in the open just to look at the stars and talk about our dreams, a date in a café where I picture you laughing hard with my infamous-funny-jokes. I have spent my days wondering how you’ve been and how it could have been if only I talked to you. Whenever I see you across the hallway, I wished you could say ‘hi’ and I could answer back but instead, reality will slap me in the face that you will never notice someone like me; that you and I are born in separate places that will never meet. Our roads are bound to almost touch…almost. Almost but will never do.

I am not here to blame you for the unrequited love. No. I am writing to you to open up about the things I should have said, I could have said but will never do. I am writing anonymously, hoping this letter could reach you somehow. Well, I like you. I really do. This is not just a simple infatuation or some sort of attraction. I don’t think so. What I feel is something beyond words could describe, something I believe is pure and true, something the love songs speaks about and what the figures serves to in poetry. This is not the first time I felt butterflies in my stomach and sparks in the air but this is the first time I fell in love and fear that if you loved me too, I might hurt you somehow. Pain is an inevitable part of love and I’m not risking it for the sake of something you shouldn’t feel. I only wish for your happiness and I know, I will never give you the happiness you truly deserve. This is why I have bottled up my feelings, kept it in and wrote it here. I know you and I is a possibility that will never happen. I know I am not enough which is why I have come to accept this truth. I love you too much to hurt you, see you cry because of me. You are everything I will never have. Somewhere out there is a person worthy of you, someone who’s not afraid to love you, someone who’s gonna catch those falling stars of yours and make your deepest dreams come true, someone whose going to treat you better than I could ever treat you, someone unlike me.

I really like you but my feelings aren’t enough for someone who deserves the bests. You are worth of all the beauty that exists in this world. And this letter will always be for you, for the one I will never…ever have. Ever.

All the happiness,

i