Unrequited

The feeling is like drowning but you just won't fucking die, like taking every bit of human in you but you won't budge, you'll stay there frozen, feeling every bit of pain there is to offer no compassion or whatsoever just pain because that's how it goes, unrequited is just that painful.

And even though you know how silly and pathetic you are for feeling it, you'll still stay up late and think of the endless possibilities of him wanting you, making poems and literature he doesn't deserve, feeling emotionally wrecked but at the same time at peace because you know you're place. But it just takes more of you, more of what's left in you to engrave the fact you'll stay there where you know you belong. Just as the label suggests "friends", and you'll wear it like a choker, strangling every bit of air whenever it becomes clear to you. Those knowing glances and the soft touches that clearly states what you are and what you'll ever be, beating it into your chest when you're done fantasizing of "what could have been" or "what if's" that ends up to frustrated whispers in the night.

I'd like to call these feeling alot of names, affection, loneliness, or just remnant feelings of the past with just a new face to cry about. But not love, oh god, not that