Drawn upon the city as a moth is towards a beaming bright light , I was to this particular city. Jammu and Kashmir. I don’t know what in importance was it for me ..or was if that there was a relation that connected us. What I know is that I relied on this city for its fresh wave of air. The sweetness in the air I breathed. The freshness and activeness it had to provide and above all the peace it gave me. There was nothing better to come back here to the green welcoming arms of this hill station and its mountain. It had everything a person would need to relax. The lush green valleys ,after seeing which you wouldn’t think there is any particular need to even save trees. The cold afresh breathing air which flew whistling everywhere , under from your arms or beneath your hair uplifting it in air with itself. And as it is said for the peace of soul and brain you can see nothing more good in green valleys than anything. For it has to provide nothing but everything.
My daily job had me struck as a buzzing bee ...tired like a dead. Everyday I would wake up , and go and sulk in the office behold my services , work like a slave and assign like a workaholic. Even though I would think nothing but sleep when I reach home, I loved my job. I was an architect. well who doesn’t wants to be one. Yet recently I felt like nothing better than this trip would rescue me, after all there are sometimes you ought to give yourself treats.
Train journeys can be tiresome, pretty much. if you are travelling in a box like compartment and that too for 28 hours there is nothing more compact and tiresome travelling. Again, to lose is to gain.
I had this awesome instinct telling me that there was something...something that going to be very every special thing..
The sun was dawned upon me and was the most eloquent shade of roguish pink I have ever seen on anybody’s pallet. Then there it is, our eyes behold the beauty and our scar of memory is left being in a few stinking in g months. I have almost wasted, although I would not call it wasting, thinking upon how charismatic the nature is and how different it theories are. Just to say the closer you watch it the more it attracts you. The more you sum it up the larger it gets. It’s just that you have got a infinity of things your eyes can behold and yet that your soul is incapable of capturing it up. Oh! I know I just sound bullshit, who knows for I have grown from crap.
Its almost nine. In addition, I feel privilege to find the hotel or let us say rather a dharmshala I had pre booked. its a contradiction with the status of dharmshala in India. it seems funny that you need to book a dharmshala, and it doesn’t seems like one. The floors and rooms are neater than any of the 5 star hotels. Yes, it’s bloody cheap to. Just 90 bucks per bed at night. That is a thing about intelligent findings, but it is all because of the pilgrimage perquisite.
It was as a simple night katra would experience as every other normal night. With an exchange of hundreds of new pilgrims and new tourists, as for 90% of the income of this katra would been accumulated by the tourists. I was busy glorifying the things the local market had to provide. Nothing unusual just window shopping. For there was nothing so special about these market to ought to look for. I felt pleasured not because it really was the first time I turned around and took the grand decision to travel in solitude and enjoy no one but only Mine Company because I realized this is what I actually wanted to do. Be a Columbus I expect. Nothing out of the box really happened until I went to this shop selling pashmina, the all time of product of this state. I had accidentally bumped into this guy .but rather casually I was far in hurry to go back to hotel than to glorify him. Rather unusually, he took the initiative to run after me and hand me over the bags I had misplaced in the shop where I bumped into him 200 yards away from the original place. Till that time I was vaguely aware of the bags I hadn’t carried for the sake of the loads of things I had already in my hands. I thanked him and then darned my self for staring that man far too long I should. I know these kind of gestures are not that welcomed but still he was irresistible. Let me get you straight. He was the guy with 6 feet and 2 inch height, all this tanned complexion, very taught and fine muscles. For that I can tell you by the way those hard strong biceps caught hold of the bags. High cheekbones, and really thick lips.to sum it up , he was hot, smart , and really sexy. What was it about the boys here? To tell you there were far too sexy boys here than the girls.
It may seem wary , but it didn’t seem that fate was too unlucky for me tonight.even after the shortest brief encounter with him I said him thank you for the gesture and his gallant behaviour and left. I was too overwhelmed to sleep that day, changed and afresh I went outside of the dharmshala, just infront a steady slope roadway to which diverted two ways and in the front a row of borrowing cars lined up from the extreme corner of right till the left unless it vanishes from the view. In the meantime all kind of available beverages and food with all possible variety. For there was no provision and no allowance of meat, smoke, and alcohol, within this city. Holy city has its own side effects. Then my eyes fall on the same boy who had moments ago taken on the initiative to intimidate me. I silently smiled , vaguely aware that by the time I was grinning amazed on my fate.i had no intenton on going on and having a talk with that boy. So , I just stopped by the time and sat on the provided bench outside of the dharmshala on the slope. Chilling whistling wind blew , making me shiver down my spine. Even though it was blazing march. March...this is going to be my first birthday I will be spending in solitude, all alone in this no more than a stranger city. With no signal to be connected. Boy, he was something, I felt to hug myself for the site I was enjoying. Strange, but more strange the feelings I had, as I watched that mere stranger eat from the full visibility and him having no acknowledgement that he is being watched. Oh , cant I just glare him like this. “Oh! vanishka ,gosh control....you are in a stranger and stranger is this small city and here you are trying being bold staring a man with hawk like eyes, come on have some shame u prat.”My subconciousness spoke up offended by my act of intensely staring a man. “oh just shut up you bitch let me have some fun. I am alone remembering and you are right no one knows me here, so what difference does it make?” I snapped it back to my inside conscious and strict sub consciousness and that perhaps shut the mouth of her.
And taking all my time and my entertainment I sat and looked at him, but it so happened that he turned around in a split second without any alert physical warning and if nothing caught my eye. Oops , I was caught red handed. Embarrassment. He had my gaze locked for a seconds and then I withdrawed for the sake of getting caught. But curiosity got best of me, and before I knew my eyes were back on him , searching his eyes, he still had his eyes on me. Stealing glances! He smiled a very sweet smile ,all friendly not ear to ear just acquaintance. I simply smiled to his reply. What else I should have done. And turned around.
Do not. Please stop watching me, I silently prayed. From the corner of my eyes I could see he wasn’t willing to give up. “its his turn now, you had yours now don’t question and ask him not to.” My subconciousness again spoke up from her mute condensation. I tugged the corners of my shawl more tightly. Embarrassed I walked inside the trikuta, the dharmshala. And unto the reception where I cleared my bill. I walked outside the garden extension of the trikuta, my eyes popped open when I saw him coming In from those rust coloured gates. My heart raced ahead of its normal pace. What Is he doing here ? maybe following me? Worse stalking me? Is he a criminal ? nay he doesn’t seem so. He saw me again a propounded face he made this time. Huh? He didn’t stop a step for another glare instead he made his way inside to the reception talking sweetly to the receptionist , talking about getting his deposited room . shit! He is staying in the same dharmshala.
I smiled again .i went inside, and decided to shut my thoughts of and drift in sleep. I was so tired because of the day that I rather took the lift. The steel gates were about to close when a hand came in between them and reopened them. Gosh! Should I faint? It was him again. He has the same expression I wore. Out of amazement. He was the first one to smile. I smiled in return. Again!
Bada boom! God now what? Are you trying to play games with me ? I thought when the bloody lift hanged mid air and stopped. I was trapped with this so intimidating man in this lift who could possibly be anything and a stranger. My excitement was on peaks though in the back of my mind I was afraid and still wanted to scream loudest. He looked at me. I stared back impassively.
“What happened?” I asked as low as I can. He shrugged. Thank god , he was with me. Alone I would have panicked without him. The electricity in India is intolerable, still if it gave you moments like this then it was worth tolerating it. Thanks for the dim light that didn’t allowed to notice my already blushing cheeks.
He pressed the alarm button, next the fire button. No progress. I sighed. Though I was happy. He called some one. And spoke in a steady voice. “the lights, please do something , .....yes the lifts...what?....okk..make it fast.”
He cut the phone and for the first time looked at me directly and apologetically. “sorry, the wires fussed. Will take some time.” This definitely was something.
I nodded, and just sat on the cold steel floors of the lift. He stood for as long as could restrain and then sat on the other side of the floor provided by his left side. And so how possibly the time flew by , only possibly the mighty god could tell that. And tired I was.i did my best to steal glances but couldn’t do so.
“you are staying in here?”he was the first one to start the conversation. I was startled. Whoa, you really startled me. I wanted to say but kept my mouth shut.”yes, I am”
“you ARE here for the first time?” he says
“not the first time , but definitely first time on my own, and have much or less forgotten the city.”
He smiled warly. I loved it.
“so, what are you here for? I mean basically?”he asks. Sternly.
“the same vaishno temple then a little cave exploring.”I say trying to act all normal.
“and what about you?”I ask.
“Nothing much, just came here for a little rest. Planning for the same as you.”
“First time?”I question. He unbelievably laughs on this. What is so funny?
“No, I am acquainted with this place as much as I am with my hometown.”
“Oh”. I say and then shut my mouth. And wait for another word but it doesn’t comes, so I stay shut.
I feel drowsy and hell sleepy, I fight to keep my eyes open but I cannot resists them any longer. I just help myself and support my head on the walls.
I felt someone’s hands on my shoulders. I open my fluttering unbelievably unwilling to open eyes.
“hey, we are there. the lift is ok now. “I come to my senses as he spoke. Holy hell. I slept in the lift. With him on the other corner. What must he be thinking of me?
“uh..huh, thanks” I get up, and he helps me for I was too sleepy. Damn me. I nod to him after getting out of the lift, and divert towards my room, he nods with a smile and strides to his.
The morning is lovely , too energetic.and I beam with congeniality. The birds chirping,the trees of palash ,honeysuckles, everything you want to see ,and you see in movies and read in books.the morning was that indescribable type. The night was lovely apart from the fact that I was dead tired. I pushed the toothbrush in my mouth, and wandered into the balcony ,yawning like a bear. Huh, lord knows how could this keep going,but to my enourmous and utterly amusement again! I found that same man clinging to the steels of balcony in the neighbour, exact right to my left. God, is that it? Why ?
And if that was not enough embarrising enough he accidentally looked at me. I blushed under the diluting sun, suddenly I wished the sun to actually melt me. He smiled sheepishly broken from the magic spell of his sleepishness. Aakward enough he had a gentlemen demeanour . he waved at me.
Good, I wanted to speak but my mouth was full enough of soapy minty froth to keep me shut, so I waved back. Smiling back goofily. I signalled him to stay where he was and then with hand movement trying to convey him that I will be back in a time and to stay there. He smiled and noded in response as if he too had his lips sealed hor another reason. I grinned and rinsed , and try to repair to the best I could myself in the meanwhile. He hadn’t moved a bit , cemented to the place where I did seen him.
Hey.,well I wanted to say you ..”
“thank you?”he interrupted me. I grinned.
“yeah,ofcouse. What else.”
“do not. Then”he said.
“huh”I said confused .he was looking at me impassively.
“yeah,don’t say thank you, its ok. I am obliged to help in any way I can.” Very gallantly he said. I was charmed without doubt.
“but, why I mean I should. So thank you and I will more than obliged and glad if you accepted it.” I replied cutting in trying to sound more dominant.
“accepted then.” And he laughed then joined him to. “hey, by the way I am vanishka,and you?” I asked him. He was to good a man just to be a gentleman. ”shrey” he said it then. His name.
“strange, isn't it? The way we are meeting and bumping again and again into each other?”he politely said in a crisp tone.” Yeah, very..don't know coincidence?”
“maybe “and he shrugged I squared my shoulders and smoothen myself. The conversation ended there. And surprisingly enough ,I don't know though why but I accepted his offer of him to be the guide I needed. And an hour later I was at the square with him. I couldn’t actually belive myself on what was I was doing. Something had changed then. Somewhere deep inside. I knew. But then I didn’t know what. He was the change.
I did gave an quantity of trust to this decent man in this stranger, and why I did risk the chance good lord knows, but then I guess that is what life is supposed to be.
That day was what I planned to go for the temple. The vaishnodevi which was the major reason why the this majority showed up and atleast shrey had came for the same reason. Something common.
I felt myself blown with the wind. Even though I had done the hiking part before commonly known as chadhai, but we came along because its what everyone does here. Once the journey begins every pilgrim and every person wasn’t a stranger, everyone had the same task the same wish and on the journey everyone was just a pilgrim.
And the journey began of 28 miles. We started walking at 8 in the morning, you can start whenever you like because the temple is simply opened 24 hours for its visitors. The hill was cut into pavements and aisle and the open hills provided a fantastic view , with very clean wind and cold to, providing refreshment to everyone. I simply loved the atmosphere here, the fondness of people, how everyone would come across and will be ready to help,the uniteness and everything. Somepeople are uncomfortable with the silence ,but I noticed with shrey the silence wasn’t needed to be filled , silence provided comfort and closures. I noticed he walked bare foot, many did but only the courageous . we simply talked on things ,mostly places and surrounding. With his words , his way of speaking, his attribute towards other, I willed upon him. Already knowing that I loved his company. The beginning was hard , going up, walking the mountain and attaining the height, I perspired heavily and got tired too early, I loved with which patience he worked with me.
I was heaving , and giving up my lungs needed air, he walked mighty fast and sturdy where as I dowdily walked and tried my best to keep up.i was now very satisfied with my decision to take up his offer, it would have been very hard and difficult and unenjoyable one without him. “please, can we sit?”he looked back with child like care ness. “okay, come lets sit there.” He said. We walked a metre and sat on the green iron bench intended for relaxing , which was adjacent to the aisle, sticking to the mountains giving a perfect view of the city down. We were already 1200 metres above sea level by 10.i looked at the sight and gaped at it, and after a while when I consumed it in , I turned to him who was gulping down the water through his throat, and I caught myself looking at how his Adams apple ,moved as he drank and in a strange way I liked it too. He looked down at me. I felt embarrassed to be caught, like always.
“water. “he asked genuinely. I simply nodded. He took the empty bottle after I drank to refill it to the tanks placed at equal intervals after every mile.
“is your leg already paining?”he asked.
“not now, I am not aquatinted to, but I am sure that it will have blisters when we are actually done. But you , boy could you walk? It is as if you have steel foot. Aren’t they complaining? Without even a footwear?”
He laughed then. Creating crows foot near the corners of his eyes. I couldn’t get enough of him. Atleast not even if I stared him for the whole day.
“nah, I come here every 3 months., and I don't feel a thing.”intresting. I shrugged. I gave him a “now you tell how’ expression and smile politely . he sat down beside.
“need a massage?” decently he says. Absurdly I look. I am young enough and I could manage , I know that so I said no. But I was touched by his gentleness. “lets go.” I say.
And we walk, and stop, and talk, and eat, but most of all we laugh at his good sense of humour, and I believe with this stranger I have the most beautiful journey till yet. His eyes has that innocence that belongs to a boy, his face has the truth of science of maturity and his body had as if endured all the toughness of world to make a man like him strong.
I am mesmerized, gazing at the dazzling and mouth opening beauties of the hills I have long forgotten and shrey tells me everything here, he tells me about mannats, the wishes people make here tied by a red thread, as a part of culture asking god for something and offering to come here if their mannats are fulfilled. We reach the dwar ,the main enterance by 3 in afternoon. 12 miles ,which was from the foot of hill to reach here, at almost 5075 feet above the ground. And every thing seemed so small as if ants. And winds were cleaner, view wider, greenery lustier, surrounding more mesmerizing, it was more like sightseeing. I was quite sure if hadn’t if for me then shrey would be walking down towards the city by now after worshipping. I was very slow. But then he didn’t complained once. I bathed and changed in a white Patiala kameez. And added a bindi. Perfect Indian, I said myself. And went outside. He too had changed in a mustard kameez. No matter what we are, we never forget cultures. “you look good, I like the bindi on you.” He said with such politeness and innocence that there wasn’t even a hint of intimacy. But he made me still blush, “thanks, you too.” And we went. The line was very long and tiresome but worth waiting for.it was the first day of navratra of the march –april season though it wasn’t as important as the October –November but still held its importance. It was the last day of march month and my birthday. And I was extremely glad and overwhelmed I could make it. And a tiny part of mine knew it was something to do with shrey too. I knew he made it more special. The idol of goddess durga was worth walking so far. And I prayed for all my heart. For her blessing in my and mine family life .against the crowd shrey stood with me, protecting me, not to be crushed. The festive season made it more though. The crowd was unbearable. We collected the Prasad after I gained blessings for my birthday. Strange, no one knew that I had my birthday today , nor did shrey for I hadn’t told him till yet. When we came out of the temple I asked him to stay where he was ( he was sitting at a bench outside the temple) and I will be shortly back. And then I buy the mannats thread . and tied it to a part of temple. Asking god for I will again visit him but with shrey. And I know then I had fallen for him. In just a day. And I believed by far now that shrey was my birthday present. My companion, for today. I turned to him and he was there standing, astounding, beautiful. For now I was falling more every second I spend with him. And he was turning more beautiful and kind as I was growing deeper in love with him. But it was just the starting. It was already 5 pm by time we decided to head back. “what did you ask for?” yet again he surprised me with his question . I knew what he was talking about.
“how did you know.?”I say, bemused. ‘just did” he replied. He was beginning to understand me better. There was much more to know about him though. We stopped by himkoti , a king of resting point when 9.7miles were only left to katra the city. It was 6 by then , and sun was slowy setting, twilight invading. Dusk felling covering around. The clouds blushing pink and yellow. The horizon with most of the brightest colour. As I watched the perfect sunset with shrey by my side enjoying it too, I could almost feel the big grin on his face. And finally the grey atmosphere covered us , darkening the visibility, the onset of night. The dusk promising a new dawn.
“it’s my birthday today shrey.”I said, all out of blue.now I wanted someone to wish me because for the past 23 years of my life my family always wishes me. Though they aren’t here, and the unreachable signals wouldn’t make it possible to contact me. I needed a comfort, that I expected from shrey.he had the look of a surprised person. As predicted. Happy enough.
“and you tell me now.vanishka?”he said my name as if it was although the most delicious word. And I loved it. I simply nodded still gazing to the open clouds as stars appeared.he turned me to his side so I could look at him, not the clouds, and a smile , different one, a very reserved kind of played on his lips. And very softly almost inaudible , but I knew he said.
“happy birthday vanishka, Happy birthday.”I would have almost melted in his arms right there at that moment but somehow wonderfully I controlled. and looked upon his eyes, and I could see it there that he cared for me, and truthfully he really wished me happy birthday, but what he did not know was that he made me more happy. That change was almost incomprehensible. There wouldn’t have been anything better that had I said him wht I felt, but then something stopped me inside. I felt afraid to loose him as if I did own him. Just a day , not even 24 hours and here I was almost beliving there is no one but shrey who could complete my extraordinary story of my ordinary life. So , I hided for me it seemed still ridiculous to the fact that how come one can fell for someone in a day? It could be a enormous crush , that I hadn’t overcome. And I needed that insecurity to pass.
Instead I looked at him, and cleared my throat. And gently with softness , just as he did. Smiled slightly and said. “Thank you, shrey. You really made my day.” At least there was a truth in it.
He sensed the clarity and honesty in my voice, or so that I think. And sheepishly smiled the same smile as he did this morning. “but then,why didn’t you tell me earliar?”he asked
“un-huh, and what difference it would have made?” I reply. “yeah but still.i could have brought a gift.” I grinned. “why would you do so, shrey?and besides you made me a good company, I liked it, “
He pouted, he really did. Those strong and hard appearance and demeanour hided many things. And yet I didn’t knew anything about it.
“I know, and thanks. But I really am used to going alone, time and again so it was a change for me to, and a good one, I must say. I know it gets boring to travel alone when there is no one by your side.” He blabbered. I nodded. “so what will you do? no birthday cakes?” he asked
“I am big enough, and additional I don't have my family either friends to celebrate with, and its no fun celebrating it alone.”
“hmm...but why did you come alone when you knew it did be your birthday? I mean birthdays are meant to be with as you said family and friends.” That question stirred me deeply. I looked at him silently and then decided to tell him. He is not a stranger, not any more now.
“there is no reason to, for I mean.my parents passed away 6 years ago in a car accident. And from then I haven’t been too keen to celebrate occasion like this. So it doesn’t matter and besides I needed a break from all those work, it was bone tiring. Though I wont say this one is physically less.” I giggled. He genuinely smiled mot knowing how to react towards this answer. Whether to laugh or be sorry.
“ oh, don't you have others? I mean relative and friends?”he asked after what seemed like week.
“yes I do, but they know my approach, so they wish me, try all their best. And I try my best. They cheer me. But without mummy and papa it seems fake.”
“hmm...”we fell silent. The stars had came out now, and katra looked spectacular from above. Everything was beautiful. after a few more minutes we resumed our journey. It was tiresome and I was giving up. My legs ached very much . and muscled so tired that it felt like noodle.24 miles in a day is not a daily job. And it needs energy and time, shrey now had his one arm around my waist holding me to support me. I was barely able to walk. Feeling, sleepy. Thank god for shrey ,had it not been of him, lord knows for sure I would have slept on one of those benches . and it wouldn’t be odd at all , for I could see many of them, in the dharmshala near the temple and few benches too. I tripped many times and each time shrey was there to support my clumsiness. Shrey had to almost drag me the left last 300 metre or so. I felt zombie. It was I think 11:30 almost. I felt to happy when I saw the main entrance, where we had begin our journey and now I had ended it. Actually we had. Last thing I knew was, shrey was laughing and me too, I had thanked him a lot telling how grateful I was , because of him. Telling him how I couldn’t have done this without him. I really am in love. Am I not? And shrey had said some same things , except that it meant a lot to me. We hired a cab and headed towards the dharmshala but by then I was too drowsy,sleepy,and tired that I barely managed consciousness, and remember just the part of leaning against shrey shoulders and snuggling against him I slept on my way. Things most unwanted comes to you at most unnoticed times of your life and so did shrey entered at that particular time in my life. I did not want him; as if a person at most miserable, time finds an angel to rescue them over. Nay, it just did not work that for me. But yeah, I grew pretty accustomed to him that later I would have needed someone else as an angel , as for that time , it was a long time to Come.
“vanishka? Hey good morning.” Shrey spoke as he entered my room. Suddenly it felt awkward because there were a mother and daughter also in the same room , I smugly opened my eyes completely and smiled briefly at him. Remembering it was him who brought me in the dharmshala and tucked me in bed ,anyone who saw us would have thought of a corpse carried by someone. I summed my thoughts concluding I had the most wonderful birthday in my 6 years. Thank you shrey.
I said in my imagination, because he will be offended by it, a gentleman that he is. “hows the foot? Blisters?” he asked handing me the paper cup consisting tea. I took the cup from him, and he sat on one of the chairs inside. I shrugged “don't know about blisters now, I don't think of that but yes it aches. And about you?” I sternly asked. “stiff , I guess. Too much walking. I thought yours will be paining . you were worse yesterday though. I had to apply the medicine for help, you were then silent afterward. Not us used of it. Huh?” he says sipping his tea, considerably tea was goodly refreshing. That was news, I don't remember the part of shrey applying any medicine on my foot, the thought of him toughing me send me in shivers though I remember grimacing in pain. “I am sorry, I have been such a pain in the gut for you. I guess you had a lot trouble didn’t you?” apologetically I say. He smiled. “not at all, but you can make up for it.”he says. “and how is that?” curious I asked. “come with me, you told you haven’t been here since ages, didn’t you?” “yes, I haven’t been, but where will we go?” “ a good one. I promise I won’t kidnap you.” “hmm...well then I could consider going. Is it a surprise?” “you don't know the ways ,so yes it will. Take it as a belated birthday trip.” I grinned, gigging. Mouthing him “thank you.” And he smiles, seeing me excited. “okay, but when? Now? I ask ,enthusiastically . I am 23 and I behave as 16. “patience girl, patience. Its just 6 in morning. And the weather outside..”he sighed” is so cool, storm like! Though there wont be any. No sun today. So its pretty okay, if we go by 9 ,wont make a difference.” I winked at him. He smiles thoroughly. I love him. And he doesn’t feel wrong, or even strange. He feels the most familiar thing in my life , even if it was just in 2 days, and I already dread thinking to have to leave him. He says he will be down , and to meet till 8 in the canteen in the dharmshala. I wear the another pair of light blue kameez and salwar and add a small black bindi. At sharp 9 we left the dharmshala, checking out. Yes, no more shrey tomorrow. I heave and sigh . and then brighten for I have at least today. He by my side and we are driving up the hill, in his car. And I want the time to slow down and want to believe there is nothing better because there isn’t. And suddenly travelling the rest of Kashmir and Himalayas and ladakh seems so pale and fake. Just because there won’t be any shrey down the aisle with me. Talking hands in hands. And with the hills in background, trees, and clear cold clouds, fog covering, completed my always thought dream love story. Perfection is nothing, it just is the people who make your life perfect. Shrey made it. We talked throughout. All the time I smiled, stared at him. And ate at dhabas. “vanishka , we are here.” He said when it was long time, very long time, which in the least I never minded. For it was spend with him. I took the initiative ,and stepped outside the car. There was wilderness and nothing , not even the beautiful hills. I was confused for a second. And turned to him, he was out too. Watching me. “you promised me that you wouldn’t kidnap me.” I sarcastically said. He laughed. “ I won’t break it any way.” He came to me, and surprisingly took my hand in his and lead the way. His touch was smooth, mesmerizing, and it felt just right. My hand fitted exactly well in his, as if this was meant for me. I looked at him, but he rather concentrated on the path, bemusing me with his charms. I followed him, and after moments we were in heaven. That could be nothing but heaven. I hadn’t realised that we were as high 7500 feet above the ground level . there were in numerous mountains meeting with a bed of clouds beneath. And sun the slightest bit shyly awaken by our presence, and as beautiful as I have never wondered in my dreams. Shrey looked at me smiling ear to ear, and I looked back at him smiling same as him, even more amazed as him. We were still holding hands in hands. And the world ought to stop. For I could cry at this moment thanking the gods for such a moment. “thank you, its heaven” I said, squeezing his hand, he hold mine possibly more tight. “it is,” and the moments passed in no hurry and we sat at the peak of mountain beneath a murdering well, and upward an intoxicating view. And in the mid, letting myself go , carried away I softly said, talking as if to a child. “ I love you shrey.”and that was it. I didn’t care what he had to say to it, I said it to him and it meant enough to me, but then as if I was showered he holds my hand closer to him , more tightly than ever and yet so softly . and speaks. “ I know, I know.” and sighs, never letting the smile go from his face.
“come here, “he says, and pulls me closer to him, and as if accepting me, he lets me lean into him and I relax my head on his chest and feel the air he breathes, and he puts his one arm around my waist holding me , and I cringe to him with all my life, his other hand still weaved in mine. And he kisses the top of my hair. The world stops then, and I close my eyes taking this all in , for now I have completely loved and am being mesmerized. And counting my last breaths I know he will be in my memories and I will smile then, at this, as now what I feel, I will feel till my end. I recall you,standingalong the route by my side. Watching you I was secretly those same eyes, and now I am mesmerized ,what can I do, helpless I am now, how come I could hold you but yet cant posses you. You are a wonder to behold. I am drawing to you, waiting for you only. Love seems obvious to me . fear is all I have got. The magic breaks, the clocks ticks. Because time is the biggest enemy of happiness and this truth is bitter than any other one. Hours later we were on our own ways, that was inevitable. He was called upon ,and he drove me back to Jammu where I had hired a car, to drive. He had kissed me a goodbye.and I had said him I will miss him, and never will forget me. And now I wiped the tear which was falling down as I drove to yet another hill, but this time alone. Knowing in my mind that shrey was on his way, our apart ways. I fished down my purse for water , all thirsty. And a crispy paper caught my hand. I remember that I had nothing as such a paper added to it. I took it out. It was not just a paper it was a letter, and I smiled and breathed heavy for I knew from whim it belonged. I parked the car and with the letter in my hand I came out, and sat on the edge of the aisle ,beneath the same murderous well and above the sunset , which had memories, beautiful ones. I remembered yesterday, the sun we watched go down, but anyhow today was more romantic. I opened it and it read.
“vanishka, to the most beautiful women I have ever known. when I saw you for the first time ever, I was overwhelmed by your simplicity and always happy demeanour, And then fate made us meet us ever and again, and every time I was following you and your eyes. You had me from the first time I saw you. I believed for every time with you that my world changed, I talked different , I behaved different, but acted for the first time myself. I am a stranger,to be precise not just to you but to the world,because when I first opened my eyes in this world there was no one whom I would call a family. I was brought up in an orphanage,and that was my only home.and as the saying goes how hard you try family is only a family.years of wandering past,having no one but only myself I decided to devote my soul,my body to my country.that was the only way I could find solace in,the soltitude love in.i felt obliged to serve the country,in these whole years I felt earned and capable for something.i didn’t know anything other than duty and respect unless I met you vanshika. I had came here for the first time with a few of my friends and honestly speaking, the crowd here soothed me,and more than anything else I felt devoted. The first time I turned around here,I asked a mannat from the god,to be the best resource of my country. And today indeed I am. I knew I was selfish then I know I am know,because now yet again ,I asked for the same thing you asked ,to be with you. In my life ahead ,i don't know what will happen to me,and I am always at the mercy of him. I may be gone at any point of my time, fighting of the border . for one thing now I will be happy because I would know in some or another I had won another battle,not of life but of acquiring love. Today maybe if you had pushed me I would have stayed with you, but I am glad now, that I am now. You have still lost your parent I didn’t wanted togrow so strong with you that it would be imposible to drift apart. The night I saw you feel asleep in the lift , you seemed so relaxed,and pleased that I envied you,but you know what that particular day I relived my life. You were amazing.and I want you to know that you were the best thing in my life and always will be.i could assure you that.everytime I will come to these hills, you will be relived in me, I can promise you that.and I wish you that your mannat comes true ,for it will be me who will be more than happy if it comes true, it will, I know it will. And I will always be walking by your side.always.when you said those words in the meadow , it sang in my heart, and echoed everywhere.that was the words I dreaded to hear. Even though you didn’t said much throughout,you said everything that was needed to be said. will you forgive me vanshika?can you? Because, I love you, vanishka, from the first time I saw you, to the last moment I saw you today, always will,for you fluttered my heart, made it run in chaos. I love you. I really do. I do.”